


Hera and Kanan Through the Years

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Adventure, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Cuddling, Minor Angst, Post-Star Wars: A New Dawn, Romance, Tropes, kanera - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 35,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: A collection of stories about Kanan and Hera and the evolution of their relationship, starting moments after A New Dawn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This world and these beautiful characters belong to the folks at Lucasfilm.

_Moments after A New Dawn..._

 

 

The inside of the _Ghost_ was just as beautiful as the outside. Kanan followed his new captain as she gave him a tour of the ship.

 

“And this,” Hera said, opening a door, “is your bunk.”

 

Kanan peaked inside and was pleased to see it was more spacious than most of the other ship bunks he’d slept on throughout his life.

 

“Very nice,” he commented. “And where’s your bunk?”

 

Hera pointed to the room two doors down from his. “That one’s mine.”

 

Kanan nodded, keeping any improper comments to himself. He now followed Hera to the last part of the ship, the one he’d been looking forward to the most: the cockpit.

 

“This is the cockpit,” Hera said proudly.

 

Kanan took a look around and smiled broadly at Hera. “I think I’m in love.”

 

Hera eyed Kanan cautiously, but before she could say anything, he clarified. “With your ship. I can’t wait it to see all that this baby has to offer.”

 

Hera seemed pleased with this response and grinned. She then pointed to an orange and white astromech. “And this is my droid, Chopper.”

 

The ancient-looking astromech turned its head toward Kanan.

 

Kanan waved politely at the droid.

 

Chopper mumbled out an indignant response and began attempting to hit Kanan with his little arms.

 

“ _Hey!_ What the hell?” Kanan exclaimed, jumping back out of the droid’s reach.

 

Hera chuckled and tapped the astromech. “Chopper, he’s part of the crew now. You have to be nice.”

 

Chopper grumbled and reluctantly retreated away from Kanan.

 

“What the hell was that?” Kanan asked, still wary of Hera’s droid and confused as to why Hera thought the abuse was funny.

 

“Chopper’s very protective of me. He’s not used to having strange men on the ship.”

 

“Hey—I’m not strange,” Kanan said, pretending to be offended.

 

“Not _that_ strange,” Hera smirked, as she got settled in the pilot’s seat.

 

Chopper let out a long gripe that Kanan couldn’t understand.

 

“What’d he say now?” Kanan asked, making his way to the co-pilot’s seat.

 

Hera paused for a moment and then sighed. “The short version? He said that if you lay a hand on me, he’d maim you.”

 

Kanan laughed, surprised at Chopper’s bluntness, and turned to face Chopper. “I won’t touch her.” Then reluctantly, he added, “I promise.”

 

Chopper mumbled something else, and again Kanan turned to Hera for a translation.

 

“He says he’s got his visual receptors on you.”

           

“Okay, buddy, you got it.” Then to Hera, he said, “He’d really try to maim me if I got too close to you?”

 

“I’d keep my hands to myself if I were you—and that’s a warning from _both_ of us.”

 

She was looking closely at him now, making sure he got the message. Kanan saluted to Hera and said, “You got it, captain.”


	2. Chapter 2

_About two months after A New Dawn..._

 

“Are you insane?” Hera shouted at Kanan when they made it back to the ship and were safely up the sky.

 

“Hera, I’m sorry—I just thought—“

 

“You thought that you got to make the calls all of sudden? That your plan was better than the one I _gave_ you?”

 

“No, I—“ Kanan stopped speaking, after Hera had given him a withering look.

 

“I have half a mind to kick you off my crew right now, you know?” she said, crossing her arms. “You disobeyed my direct orders because you got it in your head that you knew better.”

 

“I’m sorry, Hera,” Kanan told her, and Hera could tell that he actually was.

 

She groaned and shook her head. “If this arrangement is going to work, you need to learn to follow orders. And if you think you have a better idea, then discuss it with me first.”

 

“I will,” Kanan nodded earnestly. “ But can I tell you _why_ I disobeyed your orders?”

 

Hera collapsed into the pilot’s seat, giving him a hard look, but she didn’t object.

 

“I _felt_ something.”

 

“What do you mean you ‘felt something’?”

 

“…Through the Force,” he expanded, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat and turning to face her. “I felt something through the Force. The feeling was telling me to go to the side of the facility instead going around back like we planned.”

 

Hera let out an exhaustive sigh. “Then you should have shared this with me earlier, instead of just grabbing my hand and insisting that we attempt to go in through the side. If I would have been privy to your feeling, then we maybe could have completed this mission without almost getting killed.”

 

“But would you have listened?”

 

Hera’s expression softened. “Yes, Kanan. I know we’ve never talked about it, but I was there when you held up that catwalk, remember? I’ve seen what you can do. So, if you come to me and tell me that you feel something through the Force, then, naturally, I’m going to listen to you.”

 

Hera saw Kanan relax a little, and she put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got to trust each other.”

 

“You’re right. I should have talked to you beforehand. I’m just not used to this.”

 

“Used to what?”

 

“Trusting someone,” Kanan replied.

 

“Well, you can trust me.”

 

Kanan smiled. “Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome. Now try to remember that before you try to circumvent a plan and then get us almost killed.”

 

“I will.”

 

Hera suddenly had a wicked thought. “And for your punishment, you’re going to clean the refresher.”

 

“Seriously?” Kanan asked, though he didn’t appear at all bothered by Hera’s demand.

 

“Seriously. Now, get to it, Jarrus.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who didn't read A New Dawn, Kanan levitated a catwalk that was falling, and it was the first time Hera saw him use the Force.


	3. Chapter 3

_About four months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera re-holstered her blaster and turned to find Kanan. She had just managed to incapacitate six stormtroopers who had caught Hera and Kanan trying to steal their medical supply shipments. Kanan had managed to blast the other four before being shot himself.

 

She discovered Kanan, who was now hunched over and grimacing, a few meters away. He made eye contact with her and said, “It just grazed me. I’m fine.”

 

“Okay, tough guy. Let’s get you back to the ship. More stormtroopers are bound to be on there way over.”

 

She called for Chopper to come pick them up in the _Phantom_ and then helped Kanan stand. She put an arm around him for support and helped him walk to where Chopper said he’d come pick them up. Of course, Hera was disappointed that they couldn’t take the medical supply shipments with them, but Kanan was in no condition to be slowed down by heavy boxes.

 

Once the _Phantom_ had docked back in the _Ghost,_ Kanan gingerly sat down in one of the seats in the common area while Hera searched for a medpack.

 

“Where were you shot?”

 

 _“Grazed”_ Kanan emphasized.

 

“Fine. Where were you _grazed_?”

 

“The side of my abdomen.”

           

Hera nodded seriously. “Okay. Do you think you can take care your shirt off on your own? Or will you need my help?”

 

Hera saw a mischievous glimmer in Kanan’s eyes, but before he could say anything, she shook her head. “Don’t say what you’re thinking about saying.”

 

Kanan let out a full laugh, followed by a grimace. “Okay, sorry. I think I can do it.”

 

Kanan slowly and carefully removed his shirt, and Hera honed in on his blaster burn.

 

Though it was only a graze, the wound was still nasty. She bent down to examine the injury up close so that she could see exactly what the best course of care should be. Hera could feel Kanan’s eyes watching her as she examined his wound, and for a moment, she met his eyes.

 

Kanan grinned softly and seriously at Hera, and Hera felt a peculiar fluttering in her stomach, as she offered Kanan a small smile in response.

 

“So, what do you think?” Kanan asked, his voice low but with a playful lilt to it.

 

“I think a bacta bandage will do the trick,” Hera answered. She knew that Kanan’s question had more than one meaning, but she decided to answer the safer version of his question.

 

For his part, Kanan accepted Hera’s answer and didn’t respond in jest. “Well, get to it, captain.”

 

Hera dug through the medpack to find a large bacta bandage and removed the wrapper. Before she placed the bandage on Kanan’s injury, she said, “You know it stings when it first goes on, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Kanan said, gulping. “Just get it over with.”

 

“Alright. Here we go,” Hera warned, before quickly slapping the bandage on Kanan’s side.

 

“ _Kriff!_ ” Kanan swore, managing to split the swear into three syllables.

 

“Sorry!” Hera exclaimed, grimacing. “I’m sorry!”

 

Kanan let out a massive sigh. “It’s okay. The pain’s already gone. Thank you, Hera.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Hera responded, as she offered her hand to Kanan to help him out of his seat.

 

Kanan rose with Hera’s help and continued holding her hand once he was on his feet. Hera looked at their clasped hands for a second before pulling her hand away. Putting on her most serious face, she said, “Go get some rest. I’ll bring you some tea in a little bit.”

 

Kanan’s face was unreadable and he didn’t immediately move. Hera implored Kanan with her eyes: _Don’t make this more than it is_. He must have gotten the message because he took a step back and nodded.

 

“Alright. Thanks again.”

 

Kanan turned and headed to his bunk. Once she was alone, Hera went into the galley to make the tea she had promised Kanan, while trying not to think about the moment that just passed between them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love fics where one of them is wounded and the other is tending to their wounds. 
> 
> Also, can you really be grazed with a blaster? I don't know, and I don't really care, haha. I enjoy playing a little fast and loose with some Star Wars rules.


	4. Chapter 4

_About six months after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan had been to Tatooine before. And each time he’d been there, he’d leave hoping that he’d never have to return there again. He hated that hot sand-filled planet so much that he tried talking Hera out of accepting a delivery job there, but Hera, being Hera, had insisted on taking the work. She insisted that it’d be easy and pay well.

 

The job was simple enough. They were going to deliver building materials to some big tycoon in Mos Espa. At first, when Hera had mentioned the word ‘tycoon,’ Kanan had been suspicious. He was afraid that ‘tycoon’ might have just been a kinder and inconspicuous way of referring to Jabba the Hutt, the dreaded gangster who basically ruled Tatooine. He insisted Hera show him the documentation of their job, which she did after rolling her eyes and groaning at him. When he saw for certain that no Hutts were involved, Kanan felt mildly better about the whole thing.

 

Thankfully, their mission went off without a hitch. Kanan and Hera had delivered the building supplies to an aristocratic alien called Marlook Nimoy. He was a nice enough fellow, Kanan thought, and he paid them generously. Kanan was still surprised, however, that they had any wealthy people on Tatooine other than the Hutts. He wasn’t going to complain about it though. Any time he could avoid a Hutt, he would.

 

After making the drop off, Kanan was ready to get back to the _Ghost_ and get off of this Force-forsaken planet. Hera seemed to have different ideas, however.

 

“Please can we just stop some place and eat?”

 

Kanan groaned. “You can’t wait until we get back to the ship?”

 

“That’s about an hour-long walk. And we haven’t eaten since breakfast. C’mon, there are plenty of cantinas and grub spots around here.”

 

“Yeah, but none of them are places you want to go in. The food probably isn’t that good.”

 

“Are you really not that hungry?” Hera asked, as she stopped walking and turned to face Kanan.

 

Kanan rolled his eyes. “Sure, I’m hungry, Hera. But I’d prefer not to go into one of these places. They can be dangerous.”

 

“I can handle myself,” Hera responded indignantly.

 

“I know you can. But why invite trouble if you don’t have to?”

 

As if she had conscious control over it, Hera’s stomach suddenly growled violently. Kanan’s eyes widened in surprise, and Hera smirked at him. “See?”

 

“Fine,” Kanan grumbled. “But I get to pick the place.”

 

Even that turned out to be difficult for Hera to accept. They soon passed a seedy looking cantina with a grimy human man standing out front inviting them to come in. He was advertising bargain priced lunches, and Hera looked at Kanan excitedly when she heard this.

 

“Not here, Hera,” Kanan said, tugging her arm and pulling her away from the cantina.

 

“Why not? We wouldn’t have to spend a lot of credits.”

 

Kanan’s voice grew tight. “Did you see the way he was looking at you?”

 

“Yeah, like he wanted our money,” Hera replied, as she shook off Kanan’s hold.

 

Kanan shook his head. Hera was so mature for being only eighteen, but she could still be incredibly naïve. “He didn’t want our money. He wanted _you_.”

 

“How do you know that?” Hera asked, taken aback by the suggestion.

 

“Places like that, where guys hold up signs advertising ‘bargain priced’ meals, are scams.   I was in a place like that once a few years back, grabbing lunch after a delivery job, just like we’re trying to do.   This place is just as much of a sleazy club as it is a cantina. There were dancers, Hera. Some of them were Twi’leks. And they’re typically not there by their own free will, either. The people who run places like this—they find ways to _keep_ beautiful women around. They’ll say they’re having a lunch special and then charge you an exorbitant price, claiming that you didn’t read the fine print or something ridiculous like that. And when you can’t pay or you won’t, they’ll basically force you into indentured servitude. They’re all over Tatooine.”

 

Hera’s face had grown dark with anger, as Kanan had talked, though Kanan knew she was angry with the story he was telling, not with him. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and nodded. “That’s crazy, Kanan.”

 

“It absolutely is. But it’s the truth.”

 

Hera groaned and shook her head in defeat. “Okay, you can pick the place.”

 

Kanan sighed, and the two continued walking.

 

Finally, they found a tavern up to Kanan’s standards. When they got inside and checked out the menus at the bar, Hera scoffed at the prices.

 

“I’ll treat you. With my own credits,” Kanan offered.

 

“It’s not that we can’t afford it. It just seems like a waste,” Hera countered, but then she saw the look of exhausted annoyance on Kanan’s face and changed her tone. “Okay, sure, Kanan. Thank you.”

 

They ordered their food, and it was delivered soon after. Both Hera and Kanan chowed down. Kanan wouldn’t admit it to Hera, but he was much hungrier than he had let on.

 

As they finished up, the bartender approached them and tapped on Hera’s arm in a way that made Kanan’s skin crawl.

 

“Can we help you?” Hera asked, clearly irritated.

 

“Just came over to say that your meals have been paid for,” the bartender replied, leering. As he smiled, Kanan saw he had two missing teeth and many more rotting ones.

 

Before Hera could respond, Kanan did. “Paid by who?”

 

The bartender nodded to the corner of the room, which was somewhat isolated by sheer red curtain. Hera and Kanan both turned and saw the exact thing Kanan had been so keen to avoid: Jabba the Hutt.

 

They both turned to each other, and Kanan saw fear in Hera’s eyes. He was sure his own alarm was visible in his eyes as well.

 

“No,” Kanan said sternly. “We’ll pay for ourselves.”

 

“Too late. It’s already been paid for.”

 

Kanan was getting ready to argue with the man when an older male Twi’lek approached them.

 

“Did you enjoy your meals?” he asked. He was asking both of them but was looking only at Hera.

 

“We did,” Kanan said. “But unfortunately, we’re in a bit of a hurry and really need to get going.”

 

The Twi’lek laughed. “Not so fast. Jabba wants to talk with your Twi’lek.”

 

“I’m not _his_ Twi’lek!” Hera exclaimed angrily. At the same time, Kanan said, “She’s not _my_ Twi’lek.”

 

“Nevertheless, he wants to speak to her. And as he paid for your meals, he feels like he’s entitled to some of her time.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry, but he’s not,” Hera said, standing up from the barstool she had been sitting on. “And like my associate said, we’re in a bit of a hurry.”

 

When Kanan and Hera turned to leave, Kanan saw two men with blasters blocking the exit. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid.

 

“You’re going to let us go,” Kanan said angrily.

 

The Twi’lek man laughed, and Kanan thought he heard a low, menacing chuckle come from behind the gossamer curtain as well.

 

Then something occurred to Kanan. He could try to mind-trick the man. He’d never attempted to do such a thing before, and he wasn’t confident that he could do it now, but it was their only shot of getting out of there without resorting to violence.

 

He channeled everything he had ever learned from the Jedi Order and everything he knew about the Force and said, “ _You’re going to let us go._ ”

 

Kanan watched nervously as the Twi’lek’s eyes glazed over and he motioned the two men with blasters away from the door.

 

“Thanks a million,” Kanan said, not being able to resist adding in a little snark. He grabbed Hera’s arm and quickly led her out of the tavern.

 

When they made it outside, Kanan released Hera’s arm and said, “Don’t run but walk as fast as you can until I tell you to stop.”

 

Hera nodded, and the two speedily exited the town.

 

When they finally made it back to the _Ghost,_ Kanan sighed in relief. “I’m never coming back to this place again. I mean it, Hera. _Never again._ ”

 

“How’d you do that?” Hera asked, ignoring Kanan’s comment.

 

“How’d I do what?” Kanan said, even though he knew what Hera was getting at.

 

Hera made a face. “You got us out of there. You—you— _Jedi mind-tricked_ him.”

 

Kanan shrugged, embarrassed.

 

“I mean, _you did that_.”

 

“I’ve never done it before,” Kanan said in a low voice.

 

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Hera replied, putting her hand on Kanan’s shoulder. “You really saved our skins. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Kanan replied, utterly exhausted. “Now, let’s get the hell off this planet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was actually a scene that I had planned to be a part of something else I was working on, but I couldn't make it work within that piece, so now it's part of this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a continuation of the previous one.

_About seven months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera was scared of very few things. She’d been in tons of dangerous situations before, and each time, she’d managed to fight her way out. But still, when Jabba’s majordomo (a Twi’lek, no less) approached her, Hera panicked. She hadn’t had her blaster on her that day— _what was she thinking?—_ and though Kanan had his, it would have been two against one. Not great odds.

 

If it had not been for Kanan and his Force abilities, Hera wasn’t sure she would have been able to get away. She had thanked him that day, and every time she replayed that day, she had wanted to thank Kanan again.  He had seemed so sheepish when she had expressed her gratitude that first day though. She didn’t really understand why, but it wasn’t really her business, so she didn’t ask.

 

Now, a month later, Hera was replaying the moment again in her head as she tried to sleep. The _Ghost_ was currently flying through hyperspace from one end of the galaxy to the other, and Hera had hoped to get a full night cycle’s sleep, but so far, she was out of luck. The majordomo’s sneering face kept popping up in her mind, and after tossing and turning for what felt like hours without being able to get his face, among other things, out of her mind, Hera decided to go to the galley to make herself some hot tea. Perhaps that would ease her into sleep.

 

Once she had made the tea, Hera settled at the table in the galley and sipped the steaming drink, savoring the sweet taste. She didn’t drink this particular tea often—it cost a lot of credits—but tonight she was glad she had it on hand. Just as she was starting to feel somnolent, however, she heard the door from the ‘fresher swoosh open. She turned her head and in the low light of the galley, she saw Kanan, wearing only a towel around his hips, with his hair dripping water and free from its normal ponytail.

 

“I really wish he wouldn’t do that,” she mumbled to herself, trying to fight the involuntary flustered feeling that was coming over her.

 

“Hera?”

 

_Kriff, had he heard her?_

“Yes?” she said, keeping her eyes averted from him as he approached her.

 

“I thought you were asleep,” he said as he approached her, clearly unbothered by his current lack of clothing.

 

“I was trying to, but I couldn’t, so I thought I’d make some tea. I thought _you_ were asleep.”

 

“I was trying as well, but I couldn’t either, so I figured maybe a hot shower would do the trick.”

 

“Oh,” Hera replied, sneaking a glance at him. She’d last seen him like this when he had been injured, and then, she’d been able to focus at least most of her energy on patching him up. Now though, he was standing in front of her, and she had nothing with which to distract herself. She couldn’t deny that he a very attractive man, but for Force’s sake, she wished he’d put on some pants and a shirt. She also wished he’d wipe that smirk off of his face.

 

“Well, are you tired now?” Kanan asked, as he ran a hand through his wet hair.

 

 _I was until you walked in_ , Hera wanted to say. Instead, she just shook her head. “No. You?”

 

“Not really. Want some company.”

 

Hera shrugged, hoping she appeared nonchalant. “Sure, but if you could get dressed first, that’d be great.”

 

Kanan jokingly frowned. “Yeah, I _guess_ I could do that.”

 

Kanan returned a few minutes later, fully dressed in sleeping clothes, though his wet hair was still down.

 

“Better?” he asked, as he teasingly displayed his clothing to Hera.

 

“Yeah,” Hera replied, rolling her eyes. “Here, I made you some tea.”

 

She slid a cup over to him, and he took a slow sip. “This is great stuff, Hera. I’m surprised you buy it; it can’t be cheap.”

 

“Ha. Ha.”

 

Kanan took another sip and said, “Why couldn’t you sleep?”

 

Hera shrugged. “Just one of those nights. You?”

 

“Same,” Kanan answered.

 

Hera wondered if he was lying just like she was.

 

They sat silently for a few moments, drinking their tea, and then Hera said, “You look so different with your hair down.”

 

“Better or worse?” Kanan said, grinning.

 

Hera cocked her head to the side, as if she was examining him closely. “Not better or worse. Just different.”

 

“Hmm, okay.”

 

“Why do you keep it so long though?”

 

Kanan face grew serious, and Hera added, “You don’t have to tell me.”

 

“It has to do with the Jedi…sort of, anyway,” Kanan answered.

 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Hera told him.

 

Kanan shook his head. “No, I’ll tell you. We’ve known each other for long enough. You should know about this part of me.”

 

“Okay,” Hera spoke softly.

 

“I was fighting in the Clone Wars with my master when it happened, when the clones turned against us.”

 

Hera swallowed hard and nodded.

 

“I was immediately on the run. It was a frightening time, as you can imagine. I cut my padawan braid to help conceal my identity, but my hair was still short. The clones could still identify me. So when it started growing out, I never wanted to cut it. I thought I’d be less recognizable if my hair stayed long. I’ve had it long ever since. It just seems easier that way, you know?”

 

“Yeah. That makes sense. You never think about cutting it though?”

 

“No. I’m used to it like this now. And the ladies have always liked it.” Kanan offered up a small, crooked smile, and Hera shook her head and rolled her eyes.

 

“You’re impossible.”

 

Kanan laughed and then his face grew serious. “I’ve never shared that with anyone. I’m glad I could tell you.”

 

“Can I ask you something else?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I met a few Jedi masters during the Clone Wars. Tell me about yours. What was he like?”

 

Kanan chuckled. “My master was actually a woman. Her name was Depa Billaba, and she was the closest thing I had to a mother. The woman was simply incredible. Strong, brave, and a little iconoclastic. Every moment I spent with her was both an adventure and a learning experience.”

 

“She sounds wonderful,” Hera commented.

 

“She was. She saved my life.”

 

He had dropped his eyes to the table and a thoughtful expression came over his face.

 

“You mean, she—“

 

“She sacrificed herself so that I could live. She told me to run.”

 

“She was a hero,” Hera concluded.

 

“She was,” Kanan agreed, his voice low and throaty.

 

Another few moments of silence passed between them. Hera thought about how they’d been working together for seven months, and this was the most intimate conversation they’d ever had. They were both incredibly guarded people, she knew. But Kanan was a part of her life now, and if he had the courage to share something deeply personal with her, perhaps she could share something deeply personal with him.

 

“You know, actually…I couldn’t sleep because… I kept on thinking about that day on Tatooine.”

 

Kanan perked up. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Hera muttered. “The whole thing just _bothers_ me. I’ve been training my whole life be able to protect myself, but in that moment, if you hadn’t been there, I don’t know if I would have been able to put any of that training to use. And that really upsets me.”

 

“Hera,” Kanan began gently, “You’re extremely capable. That was just one bad situation. You’ve saved my ass a handful of times in the time we’ve been working together.”

 

“Yes, but all I see in my head is that Twi’lek’s cruel face, and I hear my dad saying, ‘Hera, if you leave, you will be all on your own. It’s dangerous out there, much more dangerous than on Ryloth.’ I trained my entire life so that I could protect myself. And when I wanted to leave Ryloth he told me I wasn’t going to be able to fight the whole galaxy by myself, and that I wasn’t _capable_ of fending for myself long-term. But I thought I could. With all my self-defense and blaster training, I thought I could. But when we were on Tatooine, I realized that he may have been right."

 

Tears were brimming in Hera’s eyes now—a reaction she hadn’t expected herself to have.

 

“If my father knew what had happened, he would have been so disappointed in me…but I think he also would have felt, in some weird way, smug.”

 

“Smug? I can’t imagine any father feeling smug about something like that.”

           

Hera chuckled, the laugh void of mirth. “You don’t know my father.”

 

“No, I don’t. But you really think he would have been smug about such a serious thing?”

 

Hera nodded. “I think he would have been upset to hear that I was almost taken by a Hutt. But I think he’d be pleased to know that he was right—that I couldn’t protect myself, that I should have stayed on Ryloth and fought for ‘my people.’”

 

“' _Your people?_ '  Wait…” Kanan drifted off, his eyes going wide with realization. “Your father is—“

 

“Cham Syndulla,” Hera groaned, before taking another sip of her tea. At this moment, she wished she’d spiked it with something stronger.

 

“I can't believe we've never talked about him before.  Hera, your father’s a legend.”

 

“Now are you starting to get it?” Hera asked, though not unkindly.

 

Kanan paused for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. But I still think he’s wrong, partially wrong anyway. We take care of each other. It goes both ways. We’re partners—at least I like to think we are.”

 

“Maybe I didn’t think so before, but I do now,” Hera replied, smiling. “Thank you, Kanan.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Kanan answered, lifting his arms.

 

For the briefest moment, Hera was confused as to what Kanan was doing. Then she realized that he was trying to initiate a hug. Kanan must have seen the puzzled look on her face because he averted his eyes and put his hands down.

 

“Sorry, captain. I know you like to keep things professional,” Kanan said, clearing his throat.

 

Hera shook her head. “No, no—I just—I…” She laughed uncomfortably, trying to cover up the awkwardness _she_ was now experiencing. “I just…didn’t realize what you were doing. I haven’t really hugged anyone in a really long time.”

 

“Oh,” Kanan replied, mulling this over.

 

“I’m sorry,” Hera apologized, now opening her arms and going in to hug him.

 

Kanan accepted her hug, pulled her into him, and squeezed her tight. Hera was surprised by how nice the hug felt and allowed herself to bask in the moment.

 

Kanan pulled away first and grinned at her, though it wasn’t a snarky grin; it was completely genuine. “That was nice.”

 

Hera felt her cheeks darken and was thankful for the lowlight of the galley. “It was. Thanks for that.”

 

“Anytime,” Kanan said. His genuine smile had now morphed into a smirk. “I mean that.”

 

“I’m sure you do,” Hera replied, taking the final sip of her tea. “I think I’m going to try to sleep again. Good night, Kanan”

 

The smirk was still lingering on Kanan’s face when he replied, “Night, Hera.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the last chapter, this one was originally supposed to be a part of another story that I couldn't quite crack, so I decided to fit it in here. I fear it may still be a little clunky, but I wanted to include it because there are some important moments here in the progression of their relationship. 
> 
> Also, I know in 'Jedi Night' we learned that Kanan had short hair when he and Hera first met, but I chose to ignore that because I like the idea of him having his typical long hair (as seen on the cover of A New Dawn).
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it :)


	6. Chapter 6

_About nine months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera and Kanan landed on Cantonica in the city of Canto Bight. Hera’s new informant Fulcrum had sent them on a mission where they were to meet up with a rich man who had pledged money to their cause, which was slowly becoming a fledging rebellion. This man, Kinner Lex, apparently spent most of his time in this lavish city, spending his credits on lavish nonsense.

 

“I’m impressed this Fulcrum dished out the money for hotel rooms,” Kanan commented, as they walked past an intricate marble fountain in front of the hotel they were staying in.

 

“Actually, Kinner did. Fulcrum said he’s booked us a suite.”

 

“A suite, huh?” Kanan replied, glancing over at Hera, who was very pointedly not looking at him.

 

“Yeah, that means _two_ bedrooms,” Hera stressed.

 

“ _Mhm_ ,” Kanan hummed, and Hera was grateful that he didn’t push the topic anymore.

 

The two walked into the hotel lobby, which was decorated almost exclusively in gold. Immediately, Hera felt out of place wearing her flight suit, while the other guests were in extravagant robes, dresses, and suits. As much as she dreaded it, she knew she needed to get some new clothes soon.

 

After checking in, they made their way to their suite on one of the upper levels of the hotel. When they reached the room, Hera scanned the keycard and the door swished open for them.

 

The suite, which was decorated with crimson and gold colors, was larger and more beautiful than any place Hera had stayed in before. It had a dining area that could fit a dozen people, a living room with a large fireplace and a fully stocked bar, a gigantic refresher with a shower and a tub, a balcony, and, thankfully, two bedrooms _._

“Well, would you look at that,” Kanan stated. “Two bedrooms.”

 

Hera thought he sounded disappointed; she, on the other hand, was relieved.

 

“Just like I said,” Hera muttered, tossing her bag down on the crimson sofa. “And now, we’ve got to go shopping for better clothes. We stick out like a Hutt on an ice planet.”

 

Kanan chuckled. “Yeah, we do.”

 

“Fulcrum deposited some credits into our account, so make sure you find something appropriate for tonight.”

 

“Got it.”

 

“So, we’ll just go our separate ways and meet up back here in a few hours. Does that work?”

 

“Sounds good to me, boss.”

 

Hera left the hotel and spent the next few hours browsing the expensive boutiques on Canto Bight’s Main Street. With the assistance of a helpful store clerk, Hera found a dress that was within her budget and didn’t make her feel completely exposed and uncomfortable.

 

After purchasing the dress, she strolled through the city, just trying to get a feel for the other people here. It didn’t take Hera long to realize that she couldn’t stand the citizens and other visitors of Canto Bight. It was clear that no one here actually cared about what was going on with the Empire. In fact, Hera was pretty certain the people here profited from the turmoil throughout the galaxy.

 

When Hera got back to the hotel, she found Kanan napping on the couch.

 

She tossed her knapsack at him, and he jolted awake. “You’re back already?”

 

“I was gone for three hours, Kanan,” Hera said, looking at him suspiciously. “Did you even leave the room?”

 

“Yes,” Kanan replied indignantly.

 

“Where’s your attire then?” Hera asked, looking around them.

 

Kanan sat up on the couch and pointed to a folded up black suit on a chair in the corner. Hera walked to the chair, picked up the suit, and examined it. She then put it to her face and sniffed it. It smelled faintly of booze.

 

She glared at Kanan, and he offered her a crooked, guilty smile.

 

“You stole this, didn't you?”

 

“It wasn’t hard. I just hung out in the hallway and waited for someone with my body type to leave his room. I broke in and took the suit I liked the most.”

 

 _He actually seems proud of himself_ , Hera thought incredulously.

 

“Fulcrum gave us credits. You couldn’t just go shopping for a new suit?”

 

“Now we just have a few extra credits cushioning our pockets for a little while. That should be a good thing.”

 

Hera shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible, Kanan.”

 

Kanan now rose from the couch. “You’re not mad, are you?”

 

Hera put Kanan’s stolen suit back down on the chair and approached Kanan. “I’m annoyed, but, no, I’m not mad. Though, next time I give you an order—even if it’s one about clothing— _follow it_.”

 

And with that, Hera smacked Kanan on the arm.

 

“Yes, captain,” Kanan said a little sheepishly, as he rubbed his arm.

 

“I’m going to take a shower and start getting ready now,” Hera told Kanan. “Why don’t you work on getting dressed?”

 

“It’ll only take me five minutes to change,” Kanan said, but then Hera gave him a death stare and he changed his tone. “Yes, captain.”

 

Hera went into the ‘fresher and took a long, hot shower. There were multiple scented soaps on the shelves of the shower, and Hera enjoyed pampering herself with what she believed to be the best smelling of them all.  She was also impressed by the water pressure coming from the shower.  Hera may have hated the Canto Bight, but she was quickly falling in love with this suite.

 

Once out of the shower, Hera dried herself off and applied a minimal amount of makeup—just a little eye shadow and a maroon shade of lipstick. Afterward, she pulled the plastic off the gown, which she had hung on the door of the refresher. The floor-length charcoal colored dress she had bought earlier that day was strapless with a sweetheart neckline. The gown had a mermaid silhouette and was intricately beaded until it expanded out with a layered tulle fabric.

 

Hera removed the dress from the hanger and delicately stepped into it. With her hands behind her, she did her best at buttoning the dress, starting with the lower buttons at her lower back. She was able to get the lowest three buttons, but once she reached her mid-back, she couldn’t continue buttoning up the dress on her own.

 

Sighing, Hera stared at herself in the dress, trying to work up the nerve to call Kanan in to help her. It wasn’t that she was particularly modest or uncomfortable about Kanan seeing her exposed back; she just wasn’t sure she wanted Kanan in her personal space…

 

She knew Kanan liked her; he never really bothered hiding it, though he was always respectful and never pushed the issue. Hera wasn’t sure, however, of how deep Kanan’s feelings ran. Was he just attracted to her? Or did he really, _really_ like her? For her part, Hera had found herself asking the same questions of her own feelings as of lately, much to her irritation. She knew she was attracted to Kanan. What she wasn’t sure of, though, was if perhaps that attraction had blossomed into something deeper and more meaningful.

 

Hera took a deep breath, went to the door of the bathroom, and called for him.

 

After a brief pause, Kanan responded from the other side of the door, “Yes?”

 

Opening the door slightly, Hera said, “I need your help.”

 

As Kanan walked through the door, his curious expression disappeared and was replaced with one of astonishment. His jaw went slack and his eyes widened.

 

Clearing his throat, he said, “What did you need help with?”

 

“I can’t reach all the buttons on the back of my dress,” she told him, very conscious of keeping her face and voice serious and professional. “I need you to finish buttoning me up.”

 

“Oh, of course,” Kanan replied, as he followed Hera back to the mirror.

 

Hera turned her back to him so that he had access to the buttons. She glanced at the mirror to observe Kanan’s expression, but it was surprisingly deferential.

 

Kanan started fastening the first button where Hera had left off at her mid-back, and the moment his fingertips brushed against her bare skin, Hera’s breath hitched and she involuntarily tensed—a motion that did not go unnoticed by Kanan.

 

Kanan chuckled, removed his hands from the button, and placed them on Hera’s shoulders, giving them a little squeeze.

 

Making eye contact with her reflection in the mirror, he said, “ _Relax_. I won’t bite.”

 

Hera turned around, realizing in the process that she was much closer to him than she had thought, and said, “If you’re going to behave this way, I can just figure it out by myself. Plus, I can see you’re still not dressed like I asked you to be.”

 

Kanan took her by the shoulders again and spun her around so that her back was facing him once more. “Okay, okay. Just don’t be so uneasy.”

 

Hera took a deep breath inward to steady herself and then let Kanan get back to work buttoning up her dress. His fingers occasionally made contact with her skin, and each time they did, Hera had to focus on keeping her cool.

 

His gentle inadvertent touches affected her more than she ever imagined they could. She had touched Kanan many times before. But now, because of the minimal space between them and because of the intimate nature of Kanan’s action, it felt…different _—charged_ , even.

 

A minute or so later, he finished buttoning her up—without further incident—and turned her around to face him. “You really do look wonderful.”

 

Hera focused on smoothing out her dress so that she wouldn’t have to look at Kanan. “Thank you. Now, go get dressed!”

 

“Okay, fine,” Kanan laughed, exiting the bathroom.

 

Hera stood in front of the mirror for a few more moments, adjusting the dress and giving her makeup one more look.

 

 _Had she really just tensed up like that when Kanan touched her?_ Hera shuddered as she played back the moment in her head. She needed to get herself under control. Shaking the nerves off, Hera inhaled deeply and then exited the bathroom…

 

…to find Kanan shirtless and zipping up his dress pants.

 

“ _Kanan, really?_ ” Hera almost shrieked.

 

Kanan looked up at Hera and smirked. “You asked me to get dressed,” he said innocently.

 

“This is a _suite,_ Kanan,” Hera replied, fighting the flustered feeling that was beginning to take over. “It has multiple rooms. You _had_ to change in the living room?”

 

“I didn’t really think about it,” Kanan told her, grabbing his shirt. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

 

“Okay,” Hera muttered, not up to arguing with him.  She was now digging through her knapsack to transfer some items to a black beaded clutch she had purchased along with the dress.

 

“So, what’s the deal?”

 

Hera looked up from her knapsack. “What do you mean?”

 

“Do we have fake identities? A backstory?”

 

“Oh,” Hera said, going back to her bag. “Fulcrum says he knows to look out for a tan human man and a green Twi’lek woman. We have a code phrase, but no backstory.”

 

“Too bad. A backstory would have been fun.”

 

Hera finished with her belongings and turned to look at Kanan, who was now tying a white cravat around his neck. He really did look quite handsome, and Hera found herself being able to handle this version of Kanan much more than the shirtless version of him she had witnessed moments before.

 

“A backstory would have been way more complicated than necessary,” Hera replied. “Fix your cravat; it’s crooked.”

 

Kanan turned to a mirror that hung on the wall nearby and began adjusting his tie. “Sorry, I’m not used to wear such formal things.”

 

Hera chuckled, as she sat down on the crimson sofa. “Neither am I. I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress.”

 

“So, what’s the phrase?” Kanan asked, still fidgeting with his cravat.

 

“The weather in Naboo is nice this time of year,” Hera told him.

 

Kanan finished with his cravat and turned to face Hera. “Got it. Better?”

 

Hera examined his cravat and nodded. “Much better. Are you ready?”

 

“Definitely,” Kanan nodded, grabbing the last piece of his suit, a cape, from a chair where his suit had lain and pulling it over his shoulders.

 

***

 

Hundreds of impeccably dressed species filled the casino. Hera and Kanan sat at a table watching two aristocratic aliens, a gran and a zabrak, play a game of sabaac and keeping an eye out for Kinner Lex, whom they were told would be wearing an all black suit with a blue crescent moon pendant on his suit jacket.

 

A waiter approached them and asked if they wanted to refill their glasses of champagne. Kanan was about to say “yes,” when Hera elbowed him.

 

“I think one glass is enough for now,” she muttered.

 

Kanan rolled his eyes at her and then turned to the waiter. “I’m fine for the time being. Check up on me in a little bit though.”  Then, to Hera he said, "I can hold my liquor you know."

 

“I don’t want to _have_ to see you hold your liquor,” Hera responded. “You can have all the booze you want when we’re done here.”

 

“I’m holding you to that,” Kanan said, winking at her.

 

“Fine,” Hera replied, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. 

 

The zabrak and the gran got up from the table, having finished their game, and the card dealer looked at Kanan and Hera. “Did you want to play next?”

 

“No, we just enjoy watching,” Hera answered politely.

 

The dealer nodded. “I understand. I’ve seen many couples break up over a high stakes game of sabaac.”

 

Hera’s face flushed and she forced herself to smile. Kanan chuckled and put his arm around Hera’s shoulders. “We almost split up a few years back for that exact reason,” Kanan said. “I told Lucci ‘never again.’ It’s just not worth it, you know? I love her too much.”

 

Hera glanced up at Kanan in bewilderment, and he simply smiled down at her and squeezed her a little bit.

 

Soon after, two more players sat down at the game table and a new sabaac game started. Kanan eventually removed his arm from Hera—much to her relief…and _disappointment?_ —and the two resumed keeping one eye on the game and another eye out for Kinner.

           

Finally, after almost an hour, Kanan nudged Hera. “I see him. Look to your left.”

 

Hera turned and saw a tall, slim blond man approaching them with a sleek black briefcase in one hand. Sure enough, he was in all black with a crescent shaped blue broach on his lapel. Hera made eye contact with the man, who then walked over.

 

“The weather in Naboo is nice this time of year?” Hera said, low enough so that the dealer and players couldn’t hear.

 

“Indeed. The weather in Naboo is nice this time of year,” Kinner replied, as he stealthily put his briefcase down at Hera and Kanan’s feet.

 

“Tell your leader there’s more where that came if they put it to good use.”

 

Hera nodded and Kinner walked away, disappearing back into the crowd. The whole exchange lasted less than twenty seconds.

 

Kanan and Hera remained at the table for another five minutes before heading back to their suite. Kanan kept the briefcase hidden in his cape and Hera kept an eye out for anyone that might be following them

 

Once back in their room, Kanan dropped the briefcase on the ground and said, “You should tell Fulcrum to give us missions like that more often. That was the easiest thing we’ve ever done.”

 

Hera nodded in agreement. “As much as I didn’t want to come here, it was definitely a break from some of the more high stakes jobs we’ve been doing.”

 

Kanan removed his cape and went to the bar. “Am I allowed to drink now?”

 

“As long as you don’t get smashed,” Hera said, collapsing on the sofa and removing the heels she had been wearing.

 

“But you said that I could have all the booze I wanted…”

 

Hera thought about it for a moment and then said, “That was before you came up with an unnecessary and foolish backstory.”

 

“That was hardly a backstory,” Kanan replied casually, pulling a glass from the shelf and pouring Corellian brandy in it.

 

“You gave me a fake name and made me your wife!”

 

“Now who’s coming up with the unnecessary backstory? I never said we were _married_!”

 

Hera opened her mouth to disagree but then closed it, realizing she didn’t have much of an argument. And really, it didn’t matter anyway. Not to mention…his arm _did_ feel nice around her.

 

“Did I stump the un-stumpable Captain Syndulla?” Kanan asked, before taking his first sip of his drink.

 

“No,” Hera said indignantly. “I’m just too tired to argue with you right now. I’m just ready to get out of this gown and get into some comfortable clothes again.”

 

Kanan sat down in the chair across from the sofa Hera was sitting on and replied, “It’s a shame. You look so nice in it, I don’t think you should ever take it off.”

 

Hera blushed and she wracked her brain for something neutral to say. Finally, she replied, “Well, I’m going to need your help unbuttoning me.”

 

“Sure,” Kanan said, taking another sip of his drink and then putting it down on the table that sat between them.

 

“I can get the lower buttons,” Hera told him, as she stood up. “I just need you to get the ones you fastened earlier.”

 

“Okay," he said, as he approached her.

 

Hera turned her back to him, and Kanan began to unbutton her dress.  His fingers only brushed against her skin twice this time, and Hera found she was able to keep her cool much better this time.  When Kanan reached the lower buttons, he stopped just like she asked.

 

“Thanks,” Hera said, turning her head and body a little to look at him. She watched his eyes travel down to her lips, and she involuntarily licked them—a move that did not get overlooked by Kanan. He took a step closer to her so that there was almost no space between them and then turned Hera fully around to face him.

 

Hera’s eyes looked up at Kanan’s, and she saw fiery desire in them. She knew what he wanted to do, and she realized then just how badly she wanted him to do it.

 

“Hera…” Kanan spoke, his voice low and hoarse, as he began to dip his face to hers.

 

Hera started tilting her head up. “Kanan, I—“ she started, before getting interrupted by a knock at the door.

 

Kanan cleared his throat and stepped away from her. “I’ll get it,” he muttered.

 

Hera stood in place, holding up the front of her dress, as she watched Kanan open the door. It was a hotel worker, who had brought them a bottle of champagne.

 

“We didn’t order anything,” Kanan said gruffly.

 

“Oh, it’s a gift from someone,” the worker said.

 

Kanan accepted the bottle, thanked the worker, and then closed the door. He examined a small card that had been tied to the bottle.

 

“It’s from Kinner. Look, it’s signed K.L.”

 

Hera, who was now incredibly light headed from what just happened, nodded absently. “That's nice of him. You’re welcome to it. I’m going to change and head to bed.”

 

The disappointment was obvious on Kanan’s face when he asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to sit and have a glass with me.”

 

“I’m sure,” Hera said, now making her way to the ‘fresher.

 

She had made it to the door when he called out her name.

 

“Yes?” she replied.

 

Kanan was clearly experiencing an internal battle of emotions. He looked at her for a moment but then shook his head. “Never mind. Go get changed.”

 

Hera quickly changed into her nighttime clothes and washed the makeup off her face. She hung the gown back up on the bathroom door, giving it one last lookover.

 

 _This dress was trouble_ , she thought.  


Her body still buzzed with the desire to finish what they hadn’t even started only a few moments before, but, now with some physical space between them and some mental clarity, Hera knew that would have been a mistake.

 

 _Fine._ She liked Kanan. But acting on those feelings would have been a mistake. They worked together. They _lived_ together. If things went south, it would ruin their great working relationship as well as the wonderful friendship they had developed. Not to mention—she was focusing on fighting an Empire. She couldn’t be distracted by amorous feelings. She needed to keep her mind clear.

 

When she exited the ‘fresher, Hera saw that Kanan was no longer in the living area. The bottle of champagne was still sitting on the table, as was the glass of brandy he had poured earlier. She turned her head and saw that one of the bedroom doors had closed. He’d gone to bed.

 

Hera walked over to the table and finished Kanan’s brandy before heading to her own room for the night.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

_About eleven months after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan and Hera sat at the dejarik table, going over plans for the next operation. Though he was listening, Hera could tell Kanan’s mind was not fully on the job. He kept nodding absently and every time she looked over at him, she saw his eyes grow alert again from having been glazed over.

 

When she was finally done going over the plans, she deposited her data pad back into her pocket and put a hand on Kanan’s shoulder.

 

“Hey, are you okay?”

 

Kanan looked at Hera with such a serious expression and she felt her insides tie into tight knots. “I’m…I’m not sure.”

 

“Why? Are you getting a feeling? Is there something about this mission we should be doing differently?”

 

Kanan shook his head and stood up from the table. “No, no feeling…”

 

“Then, what is it?” she pressed, though she kept her voice soft.

 

“I guess...I guess I just wish we weren’t doing this mission at all.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

Kanan turned away from Hera and leaned his hand against a nearby wall.

 

Something was clearly wrong. She’d never seen Kanan look so stressed. Neither of them were particularly anxious people, but if one of them was, it was definitely Hera and not Kanan. Kanan was always happy-go-lucky, usually even when it came to their more dangerous missions.

 

“Why, Kanan?” Hera asked again.

 

“We’re venturing into the mid rim; I don’t like it,” he replied, still not looking at her.

 

“Okay...but _why_?”

 

“It’s one thing when we break into Imperial posts in the outer rim. They’re not usually too heavily guarded, and we can easily outsmart them. But the closer we get to Coruscant, the more fortified they are. Going to Hiyam in the mid rim will be much more dangerous than any of the other planets we’ve been on.”

 

“Well, it’s a risk we’ll have to take, then,” Hera stated.

 

Kanan sighed before resting his head on the arm he had leaning against the wall. “That’s the thing, Hera: I’m not sure if it’s a risk I _want_ to take.”

 

Hera rose from the table and approached Kanan. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Kanan had never been one to run away from a fight; often, he ran _towards_ them.

 

“I understand your hesitation,” she mollified. “But, we’ve got a good plan in place. We can do this.”

 

“One day your confidence in us won’t be enough,” he said in a quiet voice, still facing away from her.

 

“So you don’t have confidence in us?”

 

Kanan drummed his fingers against the wall. “When we stick to what we know, I do. But the closer we get to the Core—the closer we get to the _Emperor_ —the less confidence I have.”

 

He paused, but Hera could tell he still had something else to say, and she knew whatever it was, she wouldn’t like it.

 

“Hera…” he trailed off. The way he said her name broke her heart. There was so much pain in his voice.

 

“What, Kanan?” she whispered.

 

“If you keep taking on missions closer to the Core, I might have to reconsider staying on.”

 

Hera grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, making him face her. “What do you mean?”

 

He couldn’t meet her eyes. “Listen,” he began softly. “I don’t mind giving the Empire a little hell when they make it easy for us. And I don’t mind stealing from pirates and sleemos to help those in need. Messing with the Empire _like this_ though? I’m not sure that’s a fight I want to be involved in.”

 

“You’re going to quit?” Hera asked incredulously.

 

“I’ll help you with this mission. You can’t do this one by yourself and we’ve already got everything planned. But if you keep taking on missions in the mid rim or if you eventually decide to take on jobs in the Core, then yes…I’ll have to leave.”

 

“We’re not just going to be taking small jobs forever, you know? That’s never been my plan,“ she replied, trying to remain calm, though her voice was rising in volume.

 

“Don’t you think I know that?” he snapped.

 

Hera took a step back from him, stunned and hurt by his tone.

 

Kanan, having clearly regretted his brashness, sighed heavily and looked at her sadly. “I don’t want to fight with you. I think we should step back from this conversation and come back to it later.”

 

When she didn’t respond right away, he offered her a small nod, turned around, and started walking in the direction of his room.

 

“The rebellion is growing, and we’re going to have to grow with it,” she called out to him.

 

“Well, then the rebellion might just have to grow without me,” Kanan said, stopping but not turning around.

 

“I never pegged you for a coward,” Hera muttered, though she immediately regretted it.

 

Now Kanan did turn around to face her and, for a moment, Hera was afraid he was going to shout at her. Instead, he just shrugged helplessly and, in a defeated voice, said, “I’m a wanted man, Hera. I’m a _Jedi_. Going close to the Core could be a death sentence for me. And for you too, if you’re with me.”

 

Hera hadn’t thought of that, and now she felt like a fool.

 

“Kanan, I’m--I'm so sorry,” she said, as her eyes started to water. “I hadn’t thought of that. Please, let’s talk about this more. Let's figure something out.”

 

“Not now, Hera,” Kanan said tiredly before turning around and continuing on to his room.

 

Hera tried to say Kanan’s name in an attempt to stop him, but she found her throat was completely constricted.

 

Once he was in his room, Hera collapsed into a nearby chair and let the tears flow from her eyes.

 

When she had invited him to join her, she knew that he didn’t typically stay in one place for too long. At the time, she had accepted that he might stick around for a few months and then move on. But it had been almost a year at this point, and up until today, Kanan had shown no signs of leaving. And in that year, she had grown incredibly fond of Kanan.

 

Her emotions finally overtook her rigid rationality, and she accepted the fact that she was not emotionally prepared for the idea of Kanan leaving. If he left, she’d be devastated. He was a dedicated crewmember as well as trusted friend, but also…he had become _something more._ She had finally reached the point where her feelings couldn’t just be overlooked or ignored anymore.

 

He’d almost kissed her on Canto Bight. And she’d almost let him. In that moment, she chose not to ignore her feelings for Kanan, and it felt so _natural_. At the time, she thought she’d made the right decision by stepping back from the situation, but now, she questioned herself. Had she been foolish to let the moment pass her by?

 

When this mission was over, she was going to confront him. She was going to somehow convince him to stay. And then she would tell him the truth about her feelings. If nothing else incentivized him to stay, maybe this would. She still feared things not working out between them—everything about their lifestyle was just so uncertain, after all—but she was no longer okay with pretending her feelings weren’t there. Especially now that she knew she might lose him.  And as far as the idea of a relationship becoming a distraction for Hera’s ultimate mission, maybe they could figure out something so that that didn’t interfere with the mission.  It was worth a shot.

 

_Wasn't it?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever rewritten and revised anything as much as I've rewritten and revised this chapter and the one that comes after this. Ultimately, I'm really happy with how this chapter and the next (which will be posted in 3-4 days) turned out. I hope you enjoyed this mildly angsty piece as much as I do.


	8. Chapter 8

_About one year after A New Dawn..._

 

The mission had been successful, much to Kanan’s immense relief. On the way back from the planet Hiyam, Kanan had been doing a lot of thinking about the argument he had had with Hera.

 

He had flown under the radar ever since the Empire came to power, and he liked it that way. It was a safe life. Then he met Hera, and she had turned his world upside down, giving him a home and a purpose.  Still, when they took on missions against the Empire, they had always managed to stay one step ahead of the imperials, even when they were taking on particularly perilous ones.  Kanan never felt like he was in mortal danger. But then Fulcrum had assigned them this mission in the mid rim, and Kanan got skittish.

 

It was one thing to infiltrate an imperial base on an outer rim planet that no one cared about. But, as he had told Hera, the closer they got to Coruscant, the more dangerous these missions would become. Kanan had managed to escape certain death once; he didn’t want to do it again. And even though it may be unlikely, he knew if anyone somehow discovered he was a padawan, he’d be killed on the spot—and Hera would likely be as well.

 

But after having thought about it for a good while, Kanan realized he still couldn’t leave Hera. She was his family and the _Ghost_ was his home. They also worked incredibly well together; from the beginning, they had been extraordinarily in sync with one another.  And Hera was her own woman and she could make her own decisions. She understood the risks of being involved with him—a former Jedi padawan—and so he’d respect her wishes. Hera’s headstrong attitude was attitude was one of the things he found so endearing about her.

 

For Kanan, though, it was more than just endearment; he had fallen for Hera. Kanan wasn’t sure if Hera felt the same way (though he had his suspicions), but he honestly didn’t care. Being with Hera as her partner was enough, and if there was a chance for something more, Kanan wasn’t going to waste it by running away.

 

After the mission, Hera had set the _Ghost’s_ course for Lothal, a planet they frequented. Kanan was in his room, watching a holo drama, while Hera tinkered around the ship. They hadn’t further discussed whether or not Kanan was going to leave, and Kanan didn’t want to bring up the pain they had caused one another during their argument. Things between them had not quite returned to normal yet, and Kanan just thought it best not to mention it again. He was staying and that’s what mattered.

 

As he watched the holo-drama, Kanan felt a peculiar ripple in the Force. He reached out to it and thought he sensed Hera’s feelings. They were heavy and anxious, which was likely why they were rippling so strongly through the Force. He then reached out further  and felt her presence close by.

 

Getting up from his bunk, Kanan went to his door and opened it to find Hera standing there, eyes wide and hands clasped together apprehensively.

 

“Hey,” he greeted. “Everything alright?”

 

“Don’t leave,” Hera blurted out. “I can’t promise you I won’t take jobs closer to the Core, but I promise I’ll have your back. I’ll _always_ have your back, Kanan.”

 

“I know,” he told her. “And I—“

 

“And we work so well together,” she interrupted. “We just _get_ each other, you know? I don’t want to go back to working alone, not now that I see what working with you can accomplish.”

 

“Hera, I—“

 

“We’ve been able to do more good in the past year we’ve been working together than I was ever able to do by myself. I want you to stay, Kanan. I want to keep doing good with you.”

 

“I want to keep doing good too, Hera,” Kanan said when Hera finally took a breath.

 

“And it’s not just that,” Hera said, resuming her speech. “I…I know there’s something between us, Kanan. I ignored it for a long time, but I don’t want to anymore.”

 

“You don’t?” Kanan asked, raising an eyebrow. He had not expected this.

 

“I don’t,” she said vehemently, shaking her head. “I will if that’s what _you_ want, but…I don’t think it is what you want.”

 

Kanan grinned. “No, I don’t want to ignore it anymore either. I was barely ignoring it to begin with.”

 

Hera let out a nervous chuckle and said, “Please stay, Kanan. I want to see what we can do together, what we can _be_ together.”

 

“I’m staying, Hera.”

 

Her face lit up. “Really?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Hera threw her arms around Kanan and hugged him tightly. Kanan couldn’t help but laugh a little as he hugged her back.

 

“Thank you, Kanan. Thank you so much.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me,” Kanan told her. “This is where I want to be.”

 

Hera pulled back from the hug a little, and Kanan saw the excitement in her eyes morph into something else…something incredibly heartfelt.

 

“I’m so glad this is where you want to be,” she spoke softly. Her arms were still around his neck.

 

“You know, I think I’d follow you anywh—”

 

Kanan never got to finish what he was going to say, though, because Hera leaned up and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter and Happy Passover! 
> 
> I can't wait to share the next chapter! It's one of my favorites :)


	9. Chapter 9

_About thirteen months after A New Dawn..._

 

They had been stacking crates in the cargo hold one moment, and in the next Kanan had picked Hera up and had her pinned against the wall.

 

Moments like this seemed to happen quite frequently as of lately. Ever since their first kiss one month before, Hera and Kanan found themselves making out in every corner of the ship they could access.

 

They never went any further than that--Hera had made it clear to Kanan that she wanted to take it slow. Relationships were not something she had much experience in, and she wanted to be able take her time feeling this whole thing out. It was too important not to.

 

So, here they were making out in the cargo hold. Hera, whose legs were wrapped around Kanan’s waist, had managed to get Kanan’s hair loose from its hair tie, and she was now running her hands through it as Kanan kissed every inch of her neck.

 

“I wish we could do this all day,” Hera whispered before letting out a moan when Kanan kissed a particularly sensitive area of her neck.

 

“Me too,” Kanan said between kisses.

 

Kanan’s lips made their way back to Hera’s, and Hera hungrily opened her mouth to him. She moved her hands from his hair and to cradle the sides of his face, trying to bring his face even closer to hers, though at this point that wasn’t even possible.

 

Suddenly, Hera heard an electronic grumble.

 

“Kanan,” Hera whispered breathlessly, as she pulled away from his lips.

 

“Yes?” he asked, his own voice breathless and hoarse. He leaned his forehead to hers and gazed into her eyes.

 

“I think Chopper’s making his way down here.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

Before Hera could respond, she saw Chopper whirl around from behind a large crate. He was buzzing angrily and headed straight for Kanan.

 

“Put me down,” Hera said urgently.

 

Kanan released her, and Hera quickly jumped in front of Kanan.

 

“Chopper, don’t you even think about it!”

 

The astromech groused in response, and Hera put her hands on her hips.

 

“He was not—“

 

“I wasn't taking advantage of her, Chopper,” Kanan finished for Hera. Over the past year, he had picked up on Chopper’s bizarre version of binary.

 

“This is how it’s going to be from now on. Kanan and I—well…we, uh…” She awkwardly glanced back at Kanan.

 

Kanan shrugged. “Honestly, Chop? It’s really none of your business,” Kanan told the droid. Hera then gave Kanan a chastising look, so Kanan added, “Sorry.”

 

Chopper angrily beeped again and threw up his robotic arms in frustration before turning around and zooming away.

 

Once Chopper was gone, Kanan ran a hand through his loose hair and said, “Well, that definitely killed the mood. I guess we’ll have to stick to our bunks from now on.”

 

Hera shook her head and smirked. “No, I don’t think we will. I’m pretty sure Chopper is going to be scanning for life forms from now on before he enters a room.”

 

Kanan laughed. “C’mon. We better get back to the crates,” Kanan sighed, before heading over the crates they had abandoned.

 

“You know, you did break your promise to him…maybe he has a right to be angry.”

 

Kanan turned around and gave her a puzzled look. “What promise?”

 

“On your first day, you promised Chopper that you wouldn’t lay a hand on me,” Hera explained, taking both of Kanan’s hands and placing them on her waist.

 

“Yeah, well, it was a promise worth breaking,” Kanan replied, leaning in to kiss her. When he pulled back, he said, “So, back to the crates?”

 

Hera looked at him wickedly and said, “In a minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just makes me really happy, and I hope it makes you happy too.


	10. Chapter 10

_About a year and two months after A New Dawn..._

 

“Kanan Jarrus? Is that you?”

 

Kanan’s head snapped back, looking for the owner of the voice.          

 

He and Hera had just finished meeting with an Imperial double agent at a small cantina on Lothal and decided to stick around for drinks and dinner after the double agent left. Neither had been here before, so Kanan was surprised to hear someone call his name in a small bar on an outer rim planet.

 

When Kanan matched the face to caller, he smiled broadly and motioned for the man to join him and Hera at their table.

 

The large Kalleran approached their table, and Kanan stood to hug his old friend.

 

The Kalleran’s name was Janus Kasmir. Kasmir had been a trusted ally and friend immediately following the events of Order 66. The two men wound up working together for quite some time before going their separate ways, and this was the first time Kanan had seen him in years.

 

“You look good, kid,” Janus commented, smiling broadly as he took in Kanan’s appearance.

 

Kanan, who used to bristle at Janus referring to him as a kid, only grinned back up at his old friend.

 

“Come sit with us,” Kanan offered, motioning to the table. “Let me buy you a drink.”

 

“I never turn down a free drink,” Janus smirked, pulling a chair from another table and placing it at Kanan and Hera’s table.

 

Once he was sitting, Janus turned his attention to Hera.

 

“Hi, there, pretty one,” he said.

 

Hera glanced over at Kanan, who nodded encouragingly.

 

“Hi, I’m Hera.”

 

Janus turned to Kanan. “How do you and Miss Hera know each other?”

 

“We met on Gorse just over a year ago,” Kanan explained.

 

“I see,” Janus replied, clearly expecting more information.

 

“She’s, uh, my—we’re—“

 

“We’re partners.”

 

“Partners?” Janus pushed.

 

“Partners in _every_ sense of the word,” Hera clarified, taking Kanan’s hand.

 

Kanan looked at Hera and beamed. He knew what she was to him, but they’d never put words to it before. Hearing Hera claim him as her partner— _in every sense_ —made Kanan’s heart swell with joy.

 

“Well, damn, kid. I’m happy for you,” Janus told him. Then to Hera he said, “Keep an eye on this boy. He’s quite the troublemaker.”

 

“Oh, I know,” Hera said, looking at Kanan with a twinkle in her eye.

 

Later that night, once Kanan and Hera returned to the ship, Kanan cornered Hera just outside her room.

 

“So, we’re _partners_ , huh?” he said, his voice low and flirtatious. His hand was above her head and pressing on her door.

 

Hera’s back was against the door and there was very little room between them, not that either of them minded.

 

“Yeah, we’re partners,” she replied casually, lifting her hand to stroke his cheek. “Sound good to you?”

 

“More than good,” he told her. He leaned in to kiss her, and she let him. After a few moments, they broke apart, and he said, “What if one day, when all of this craziness is over, I wanted to make our partnership official?”

 

“Official?” Hera asked, her voice deceptively light. She wasn’t looking him in the eyes just then; instead, she was focusing her attention on combing through his hair with her fingers. If she had been looking, she would have seen the coquettish look was gone, and Kanan now was very serious.

 

“Yeah, _you know…”_

She moved her hand to the back of his head and pulled his head down so that she could kiss him once more. When they pulled apart, Hera said, “We’ll see.”

 

And with that, she extricated Kanan’s one hand from the door and the other from around her waist and went inside her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since I read the Kanan comic, so I didn't want to write too much with Janus Kasmir, and really, he wasn't the main point of this short and sweet chapter anyway. Hope you enjoyed :)


	11. Chapter 11

_A year and four months after A New Dawn..._

 

They were both still breathing heavily when they got back to the _Ghost_. Their mission, though ultimately successful, had been a close call. Kanan had almost been killed and Hera was almost captured. Thankfully, they had Chopper who was able to get them safely into space and away from enemy fire.

 

“That was a close one,” Hera wheezed, clutching her chest.

 

“I know,” Kanan replied, leaning against a wall in the common area. “I wouldn't have agreed to this mission if I thought I might actually die. And for the first time in a long time, I thought I might.”

 

“For a second there, I thought you might too,” Hera said quietly. She was finally starting to catch her breath.

 

"And what would you ever do without me?” he asked. His voice was jocular, but Kanan was also genuinely curious of Hera’s answer.

 

“I would be heartbroken,” she said, approaching him and splaying her hands on his chest.

 

Kanan kissed her forehead and Hera’s lekku curled up.

 

“Well, I would have been pretty distraught myself if you had been captured. You had me pretty scared there for a second, you know?”

 

Hera removed her hands from Kanan’s chest and wrapped them around his middle. She leaned into him and rested her head against his chest.

 

“Let’s try to avoid getting captured or killed from now on, okay?” she said. “I’ve only just found you. I can’t lose you so soon.”

 

Kanan, who had wrapped his arms around Hera as well, squeezed her tighter. “I don’t want to lose you either, Hera.”

 

The emotion in his voice must have stirred something in Hera because she looked up at him, and Kanan saw something new in her eyes. Hera had given him desirous looks before, but this look was unlike those. There was completeness in this look.

 

She delicately took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. Kanan reciprocated and held Hera more tightly to him. She freed his hair from its hair tie and began running her fingers through it. He knew that Hera was aware of how much he liked it when she played with his hair, and he couldn’t help smiling through their kisses.

 

After a few moments, he moved his lips to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses from behind her ear to where her neck and shoulder met. Occasionally, Hera would let out a soft gasp, which served as music to Kanan’s ears. When he returned his lips to hers, they continued kissing passionately, and yet unhurriedly, for a long while, and then Hera pulled apart the slightest bit. That look was still in her eyes.

 

“I’m ready, Kanan,” she whispered.

 

Kanan’s eyes widened as he ran his hands up and down her sides, cherishing her smooth curves. “Are you sure?”

 

Hera nodded, and there was no bashfulness in her expression. She looked confident and strong.

 

“Okay,” Kanan replied, leaning down to kiss her fervently once more before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to his bunk.


	12. Chapter 12

_About a year and a half after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan had been watching a holo-drama in his room when Hera came back to the ship from a supply run in town. She knocked on his door and he called for her to come in.

 

“Hey,” he greeted, looking up from the holo. “You got everything you need?”

 

“Yes,” Hera said. “And I got a little surprise for us as well.”

 

Kanan smirked and got off of his bed to approach Hera.

 

“Oh, yeah? What’d you get?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

 

“Just meet me in the galley in an hour,” Hera told him, before reaching up to kiss him.

 

Kanan kissed her back, savoring the moment. He pulled back after a long minute and gestured to his bed.

 

“Want to postpone that meeting a little bit?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Hera glanced at the bed, and Kanan could tell she was thinking about it. She shook her head, though, and tapped Kanan lightly on the cheek.

 

"One hour,” she said.

 

Kanan chuckled. “Okay, one hour.”

 

One hour later, Kanan made his way to the galley and was shocked by what he saw.

 

The usually bright lights were dimmed and candles were lit all over, including two that were placed in the middle of the table. The table, which was covered with a white cloth, had two plates filled with food, one on each end. And at one of those table ends sat Hera Syndulla, looking proud and radiant.

 

“Hera…what is all of this?”

 

Hera stood up from her chair and smiled. “I made you dinner.”

 

“I can see that,” he said, approaching the table.  Hera never made dinner. “Why?”

 

“Because we’ve been together for six months, and I wanted to celebrate.”

 

A broad grin spread across his face. “I didn’t think you were someone who celebrated such occasions.”

 

“Me neither,” Hera replied, smirking.

 

“This is really amazing. Thank you.”

 

Hera laughed. “Don’t thank me yet. Let’s see if I was actually able to cook this food properly.”

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve ever made us a meal that wasn’t space waffles and caf.”

 

“Well, if the food’s not good, I did buy us this great bottle of Alderaanian wine. We can use it to mask the taste of the food if we need to.”

 

Kanan sat down at the table, and Hera brought him a glass of wine before going back to her own seat across from him.

 

“To us,” Kanan said, raising his glass and winking at Hera.

 

“To us,” she repeated, beaming.

 

After toasting, Kanan picked up his utensils and dug into the food Hera had fixed.

 

_It was awful._

 

Kanan politely chewed and choked down the food, while Hera chewed her own food and watched him carefully. Kanan was going to keep up the charade that he could stomach Hera’s food, but thankfully, he didn’t have to.

 

“Okay,” Hera groaned, putting down her utensils. “This is horrible.”

 

“Maybe not _horrible_ ,” Kanan chuckled, trying to ease the blow.

 

Hera shook her head. “No, you don’t have to lie; it is. Give me ten more minutes, and I’ll have some space waffles ready,” she said, getting up from her chair and going to the counter to prepare the backup meal.

 

“Space waffles and fancy wine,” Kanan mused. “Sounds great to me.”

 

Ten minutes later the pair was scarfing down Hera’s fantastically made space waffles and sipping the delicious—and surprisingly strong—wine.

 

Kanan had severely cut down on drinking since joining up with Hera. Hera didn’t like him drinking on her ship, and he surprisingly had little issue complying. Kanan recognized that working with Hera was a great opportunity and he didn’t want to throw that away for a little booze. Occasionally, he’d have a drink when they went to a cantina to get intel for a mission, but the drinks were usually weak so that he could focus on what they needed to do. Truth be told, he didn’t even really miss drinking—especially now that he had something much more intoxicating: _Hera Syndulla._

But not drinking regularly meant that Kanan’s tolerance had dropped significantly. Kanan was quite tipsy after his second glass of wine, while Hera was certifiably drunk.

 

After they finished their waffles, the two remained at the table, drinking and reminiscing about their past year and a half of working together. Hera was talking very enthusiastically about a mission they went on about eight months after Kanan joined her crew.

 

“—And then we hid in that alley and you used the Force to push those crates into those stormtroopers. I was just… _astonished.”_

Kanan chuckled. “Why? You’d seen me use the Force before. Once with the catwalk and once on Tattooine.”

 

“Yes, but with those crates you were so confident. It was kind of, I don’t know, _sexy_.”

 

"Whoa,” Kanan said, choking on his wine. “You thought I was sexy all the way back then, and it took us, what, four more months to get together? Not cool, Hera.”

 

Hera blushed. “I guess I had to make sure you weren’t just a pretty face with a few cool moves.”

           

The flirtatious banter continued and got significantly more suggestive as they continued to drink. When they finished the bottle, however, it became clear to Kanan that the night was not going to end with them fooling around in bed together.

 

“That wine really hit me,” Hera sighed, putting her elbows up on the table and then dropping her head in her hands. “I’m so tired, I’m not even sure I can make it back to my bunk.”

 

Kanan, who was now blowing out all the candles, turned to look at her. “Let me carry you.”

 

Hera’s eyes twinkled. “I love it when you do that.”

 

Kana grinned. “I know.”

 

When he finished with the candles, he went over to Hera and scooped her up in his arms.

 

“This is nice,” she said, before letting out a yawn.

 

“The whole night was nice,” Kanan replied, as they made their way back to the cabins. “Thanks for the waffles and the wine. And the great company.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Hera hummed. Her eyes were shut now, and she had a dreamy expression on her face.

 

Kanan opened the door to Hera’s room and delicately placed Hera in her bed. As he was tucking her in, he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead and whispered in her ear, “I love you, Hera.”

 

He pulled away to look at her face, but she was already fast asleep now. He smiled to himself as he crawled into the bed and wrapped his arms around her. He fell asleep soon after, holding the person he loved most in this galaxy.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is total fluff, I know. But sometimes you just need some good fluff :)
> 
> Also, I just finished a very rough draft of this new Kanan/Hera piece I've been working on. I don't have a beta (and tbh, I'm not even sure how to get one lol), but it's a piece I feel may benefit from having another set of eyes on it (specifically another woman's eyes) because it deals with a mature issue and I want to make sure I've handled it appropriately. If anyone's interested, please let me know in the comments. Thanks!


	13. Chapter 13

_About a year and eight months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera and Kanan walked through a crowded marketplace on a small planet in the Western Reaches. They were pretending to shop, but really, they were trying to get a sense of the local attitude about the Empire’s newly established presence on the planet.

 

So far, people didn’t seem too bothered by it, and that drove Hera mad. She wanted to shout at them, _They’re going to use you, suck you dry, and leave you for dead. All their promises are empty!_

 

Instead, Hera kept up the appearance that nothing was wrong and that she was simply strolling through the marketplace with her love. They held hands and browsed the different stands, which were selling anything from sweet treats to jewelry.

 

They passed by one particular stand where two female children no older than eight standard years were selling hard candies. One of the younglings, her arms full of wrapped candies, approached Kanan and Hera and smiled brightly at them. Hera saw that she was missing her two front teeth.

 

“Would you like some candy?” the little girl asked.

 

Hera looked at Kanan, who nodded and smiled.

 

“We’d love some,” Hera replied. “What flavors do you have?”

 

The little girl’s eyes lit up and she excitedly listed all the fruity flavors of candies she and her friend were selling.

 

“Well, they all sound delicious,” Kanan said, as he popped a sample the other little girl had offered in his mouth. “What do you think, Hera?”

 

“Meiloorun flavor sounds great,” Hera commented. “We’ll take a pack of those, then.”

 

“And a pack of whatever this sample is,” Kanan said, sucking on the candy.

 

Both little girls’ eyes lit up, and the first girl began putting together the candies Hera and Kanan had requested. Kanan took out some credits from his pocket and gave them to the second little girl. When the first little girl handed Hera a small box filled with her sweets, Hera leaned down to take it and spoke to both girls in a quiet voice.

 

“What’s it been like since the Empire came? Those stormtroopers been nice to everyone?”

 

Both girls shook their heads adamantly, and the first girl said, “No. They’re very mean.”

 

“Yeah,” the second girl agreed. “My brother went to jail last week because he didn’t make it back home in time for curfew. My dad had to pay lots of credits to get him out.”

 

“I see,” Hera said seriously. Then she smiled and said, “Thanks for the candy. If we ever come back here, we’ll be sure to stop by and get more candy.”

 

“Thanks!” both girls exclaimed.

 

Hera tucked the small box of hard candies into her satchel, and she took Kanan’s hand once more as they resumed walking the streets of the marketplace.

 

“I guess we’ve been asking the wrong people,” Hera said. “Maybe we should just keep asking little ones.”

 

Kanan chuckled. “Yeah, they’re the only ones who seem to be telling the truth around here.”

 

Hera nodded in agreement, and then they walked in a comfortable silence for a little bit, occasionally stopping to browse at a booth.

 

When, they turned a corner into a new section of the marketplace, Kanan spoke. “What do you think about kids?”

 

Hera threw him a sideways look. “What do you mean?”

 

Kanan shrugged casually—a little too casually, Hera thought. “Do you like them?”

 

“Yeah, definitely. I helped raise a lot of my little cousins,” she replied, not looking at Kanan and instead focusing on a sign that was advertising fresh juice.

 

“Think you’d want some one day?”

 

Hera sighed. She really didn’t like thinking too far ahead into the future when the future was so uncertain.

 

After a pause, she answered in the quietest voice, “Maybe one day when I’m done fighting and the Empire is overthrown. Do _you_ want kids?”

 

“Absolutely,” Kanan said. “I love little ones.”

 

“I wouldn’t have guessed that,” Hera said, chuckling.

 

“Yeah,” Kanan replied. “I think they’re pretty great actually.”

 

Hera hummed in response, and they made their way over to a booth run by an old couple, selling landscape paintings.

 

After a brief conversation about the paintings, she attempted to ask the couple about the Empire’s occupation, but the couple only shook their heads, looking frightening. Feeling bad for upsetting them, Hera purchased a small painting, and then she and Kanan continued down the street.

 

“Hey, Hera?” Kanan asked, after a few minutes. He had stopped walking.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Think you’d want kids some day with _me_?”

 

Hera looked over at Kanan, and he offered her a hopeful smile that told her he was being serious and not just messing around.

 

“Kanan…”

 

“What? It’s just a question,” Kanan said innocently, still wearing that hopeful smile.

 

He understood she was wary about discussing plans for the future, so she knew he wouldn’t be upset if she didn’t answer him.

 

“Let’s talk about that another time,” she said neutrally.

 

This was apparently the answer Kanan expected because he nodded and his smile became much less earnest.

 

“Okay,” he replied.

 

Hera leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. She then squeezed his hand, and they continued through the marketplace.


	14. Chapter 14

_About two years after A New Dawn..._

 

A mobster was hastily removing his blaster from his holster. He was going to shoot Kanan, who had used all of his blaster’s charge on the two and half dozen other mobsters who had ambushed and then pursued them approximately fifteen minutes earlier. Moments before, Hera had managed to hide out of site behind a tall stack of metal crates, mainly because the charge on her blaster had also gone out. Before she could stop herself, Hera jumped in front of the mobster and his blaster.

 

The mobster was caught off guard by this sudden development, and with the hand he was not reaching for the blaster with, yanked Hera’s arm back, twisting it and pulling her against him. Hera let out a yelp of pain.

 

But through the pain, Hera saw that her impromptu action, meant to serve as a distraction, had worked. The few seconds of disturbance had given Kanan all the time he needed to grab a blaster from one of the nearby slain bodies and take an expert shot at the mobster’s head.

 

The mobster fell to the ground. Hera, now free of the man’s grasp, examined the arm that was currently in excruciating pain. The arm was bent at an unnatural angle, clearly broken, and the sight made Hera lightheaded. Just as her vision began to blur, she felt Kanan come up beside her and scoop her up.

 

“You okay?” he asked, quickly looking around to make sure no more of the mobster’s friends had appeared.

 

"I think it’s broken,” she mumbled, her eyelids fluttering shut.

 

Having determined that the coast was clear, Kanan quickly called for Chopper to pick them up at their rendezvous point.

 

“Don’t go out on me. Try and stay awake,” he told her, as he rushed toward their meeting point.

 

“It hurts so much, Kanan,” she said, her eyes still closed.

 

“I know it does,” he replied. “Thank you for the distraction. You really saved my ass.”

 

“I’m always saving your ass.”

 

She shook a little in Kanan’s arms as he chuckled at her response. This caused her to open her eyes and grin at him.

 

“I think we need to invest in some better blasters though.”

 

“I think you’re right,” she whispered, wanting to reach out and touch his face with her hand. She couldn’t, of course, because her arm was in excruciating pain.

 

Hera managed to stay awake until they got back to the ship. Kanan carried her all the way to her bunk and gently placed her on her bed.

 

“Well, it’s definitely broken,” Kanan commented, after examining her arm for himself.

 

“I know,” she winced. “We’ll probably have to go off world to get it fixed. The mobster’s crew might be waiting for us at one of the med-center’s here.”

 

“I can set it back in place until we get you to a medic,” Kanan said.

 

Hera looked at him like he was crazy.

 

“What? I’ve done it before.”

 

“I think I’d rather wait,” she said, removing her arm from his gentle hold.

 

“The longer your arm’s like that, the harder it’ll be for it to heal,” Kanan told her.

 

She looked at him skeptically. “It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?”

 

“Like hell,” he replied gravely.

 

Hera couldn’t help but chuckle at his honesty. “And you know what you’re doing?”

 

“I’ve set a surprising amount of bones back in place in my day,” he grinned.

 

Hera sighed, laid her head down on the pillow, and re-offered her arm to Kanan. “Okay, do it.”

 

“Want me to count to three?”

 

“No, just do it,” she replied, facing the wall so that she wouldn’t have to see the violent maneuver.

 

Kanan knelt down beside her, and she felt him put his hands in position on her arm and then felt nothing but searing pain so bad that she passed out.

 

When she came to, Kanan was leaning over her, looking concerned.

 

“Maybe I should have just tried to kiss it better,” Kanan commented softly, stroking her face with his hand.

 

“Your kisses are lovely, but they weren’t going to fix a broken arm,” Hera said. “Did it work?”

 

“It did,” Kanan said, before kissing Hera gently on the lips. “I had Chopper set course for the nearest moon, which is bound to have a med-center. I’ll let you get some rest, and I’ll be back to check on you in a little bit.”

 

“No, I want you to stay,” she said. “Just lay with me for awhile.”

 

“As long as you rest,” Kanan replied, already crawling into bed beside Hera.

 

“I will.”

 

He didn’t wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him like he normally did because he didn’t want to aggravate her injury. Instead, he rubbed her back, while Hera drifted in and out of consciousness.

 

In the moments when she was awake, her brain fuzzily contemplated the intimacy of this moment. Sex was nice, but Hera thought that moments like this might be nicer. This was complete love, love that lasted even when lust and desire wasn’t there. She hadn’t yet told Kanan she loved him, but she knew she did. Hera was just used to keeping her emotions close to the vest. It had, after all, taken them an entire year of working together before Hera let herself finally act on her feelings for Kanan.

 

However, Hera did remember the moment two months ago when Kanan told Hera that he loved her. He had thought she was already asleep, but she wasn’t. That night she had silently stored his words in her heart, and now, in this moment, she felt compelled to say something.

 

“I heard you, you know?” she whispered.

 

She wasn’t facing him, so she didn’t see his bewildered reaction.

 

“Heard what? I didn’t say anything?” he replied, continuing to rub her back.

 

“That night after we got drunk off that Alderaanian wine. I heard what you said when you were putting me in bed.”

 

The gentle rubbing on her back ceased. Hera wanted to turn her face to look at Kanan, but she couldn’t without great difficulty. As if he was reading her mind, Kanan carefully climbed over her so that he was now on her other side.

 

“You heard me?” he asked seriously.

 

“Yes,” Hera told him, a soft smile spreading on her face. “I did.”

 

“I thought you were asleep.”

 

She shook her head. “I was almost asleep, but I heard you.”

 

“Well, I meant it,” Kanan said seriously.

 

“I know you did,” Hera said, reaching out to stroke his cheek with her good arm. “And I mean it when I tell you that I love you too.”

 

Kanan’s eyes widened. “You do?”

 

“Of course,” Hera said, her soft smile widening.

 

“I thought—well, I thought maybe you did, but I wasn’t sure. That’s why I didn’t say it again once you were awake. I didn’t want you to feel pressured to say it back. But now that you have… _damn it,_ Hera, I love you.”

 

Hera laughed softly and said, “I love you too, Kanan.”


	15. Chapter 15

_About two years and one month after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan and Hera were staying at an inn on an outer rim planet. They had just finished one of their non-rebellious jobs—jobs they had to take to keep the _Ghost_ fueled and to keep food in their stomachs.

 

Kanan was in the room they were renting, watching the HoloNet News, when Hera returned from a quick supply run. Her hands were full with bags, and she wore a broad smile on her face.

 

Kanan got off the bed to assist Hera with her purchases.

 

“What are you so smiley about?” he asked, taking half the bags from her.

 

“I think I just recruited someone!” Hera said.

 

"Recruited someone? What do you mean?”

 

“To be a part of our crew!”

 

Kanan was baffled. He and Hera had never seriously talked about bringing on new crewmembers  Occasionally, the conversation would come up, and they both agreed that when the fight got a little more serious it might become necessary to take on more crew, but Kanan didn't think that time had come yet. Of course, ultimately, Hera was the captain and that was her decision, but at this point in their working (and personal) relationship, he would have thought she’d run this idea by him first.

 

“Why did you do that?” Kanan asked cautiously.

 

Hera’s excitement waned ever so slightly. “Because I overheard him talking to someone about how the Empire attacked his entire planet and how he was going to fight them until the day he dies.”

 

 _He?_ This person was a _he?_ Kanan wasn’t one to get jealous, but the idea grated him more than he'd have thought it would.

 

“And so you just invited him to join us?”

 

He was trying to hide the edge in his voice, but Hera could detect it because when he asked the question, she frowned and crossed her arms.

 

“I asked him to meet us tomorrow morning for breakfast. We’ll talk with him _together_ , and if we both agree that he’d make a good crewmember, then we’ll invite him. All I told him tonight was that if he was interested in a high-stakes job, then he should meet me down at the tavern in the morning. I didn’t just invite him to join up, Kanan.”

 

“Oh…okay,” Kanan replied. He had put the bags he had taken from Hera down and returned to the bed.

 

“Are you mad?” Hera asked, as she placed her own bags of supplies down on a small table.

           

“No,” Kanan told her. And that was the truth. He wasn’t _mad_. He was more…concerned and…bewildered.

 

“Are you sure?” Hera prodded, now climbing into the bed beside him.

 

Kanan nodded. “I’m not mad, Hera.”

 

“Okay, good. Because this guy—I think he could really be a great addition to our team.”

 

“I trust your judgment,” Kanan told her.

 

“Good,” she replied, leaning against him. “I think you’ll be pleased with him.”

 

While Hera may have fallen asleep quickly, Kanan was up most of the night, trying to figure out Hera’s thought process.

 

Kanan _thought_ his relationship with Hera was going great. They established that they were, in fact, in a relationship, and they now both knew they loved each other.

 

Sure, she had kindly rebuffed him when he had tried to bring up marriage and children, but Kanan had pretty much expected her to do just that. He knew Hera didn’t like talking about the future, and he was fine with that. He had just wanted to broach the topics, not to annoy her, but to see if she was open to the discussion. When she had made it clear that she didn’t want to discuss those things, Kanan hadn’t pushed and didn’t bring them up a second time. Surely, just bringing up these topics wasn’t enough to scare Hera off. Other than that, though, Kanan thought everything between them was going smoothly.

 

Hera couldn’t possibly think Kanan, as a crewmember, was unsatisfactory. Kanan couldn’t imagine that she felt like she needed to take on another crewmember because Kanan wasn’t pulling his weight. He and Hera worked so well together, it was almost like they could reach each other’s minds. They were so in sync with each other at this point that all of their missions and jobs in the last few months had gone off without a hitch.

 

So, why then, was Hera interested in bringing on new people?

 

The next morning, Kanan awoke to Hera straddling him and smiling cheerfully.

 

"Good morning,” she said in a singsong voice.

 

Kanan lifted up his knees to knock Hera off balance so that she felt completely on top of him.

 

“What’s all this about?” he said.

 

“I’m just excited for the day,” she replied, before leaning down to give him a languid kiss.

 

Kanan kissed her back and thought on his ruminations from last night. Hera certainly wasn’t kissing him like anything was wrong. He supposed this was a good sign.

 

When Hera pulled back, she crawled off of him, and Kanan sat up in the bed.

 

“You’re really excited about this guy, aren’t you?”

 

"Yeah, I am,” she replied, taking his hands. “But I get the feeling you’re not.”

 

Kanan looked at her in surprise, and Hera smiled understandingly. “You were really restless last night. I thought it might be bothering you.”

 

“I’m not mad, Hera,” Kanan said, repeating his words from last night.

 

“I know you’re not mad. If you were, I know you’d tell me. But I think you’re apprehensive about this new possible crewmember, and I’d like to talk about it with you, if you’ll let me.”

 

“Okay,” Kanan nodded.

 

“First, I want to know why you’re not completely onboard with us taking on a new guy? Do you wish I would have discussed it with you first?”

 

Kanan nodded. “Yes, I do. But I understand that you’re the captain and you call the shots, and I am appreciative that you’ve given me the chance to meet him before we decide for certain. I guess…I guess I’m just wondering why you think we _need_ another crewmember when we’re doing so well on our own.”

 

“I heard him talking about how the Empire destroyed his home planet. He was _raging_ , Kanan. So, I approached him, and we talked. He’s a trained fighter and told me that he was going to spend the rest of his life avenging the loss of his people. He has the same hatred for the Empire that we have.”

 

“Okay,” Kanan replied. He felt a little better hearing that this guy was a trained fighter. Hera was self-trained and Kanan’s fight training stopped when the Jedi Order was destroyed, so bringing on a real fighter was a logical move. “I want to ask one more question.”

 

“Of course,” Hera said.

 

“Are we good?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Kanan ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, is everything okay between us?”

 

“Of course, Kanan,” Hera replied, now running her own hand through his hair. “We’re doing great. I’ve never been happier.”

 

“Okay,” Kanan said, taking Hera’s hand that had been in his hair and kissing it. “I just…wanted to make sure you weren’t bringing on another guy because you felt like we weren’t working…or even because you felt like things were cooling down between us.”

 

  Hera grinned. “Kanan. This guy is probably twenty years older than me.”

 

“Oh,” Kanan said, feeling a little sheepish now.

 

“I’m only interested in you,” she told him, a glint in her eye.

 

“I’m relieved,” Kanan said, offering her his crooked grin.

 

“Kanan,” Hera began, and now her voice was softer and more serious. “I know we’ve touched on this before, but I need you to remember that I will always do what’s best for our team. I want the Empire gone, and I’m going to make the tactical decisions necessary to see that that happens. And if that means hiring on another crewmember, which I know will no doubt take away some of our blissful privacy, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

 

Kanan nodded. Hera had always made it clear that the job came first, but until now, there had never been any conflict of interest between their ultimate mission and their relationship. He was now seeing her put her words into action. And while he didn’t agree with her, he loved her in part because of her convictions on these things.

 

“I mean, we’ve been dealing with Chopper’s nosiness for a year now, so I’m sure taking on another person won’t be that big of a deal.”

 

“You’re definitely right about that,” Hera said, as she wrapped her arms around Kanan’s neck and hugged him.

 

An hour later, Kanan and Hera went downstairs to the tavern attached to the inn and met with this soldier Hera had recruited.

 

Kanan knew immediately that the soldier, a purple furred Lasat named Zeb, and he were going to get along great. Zeb had a dark, dry sense of humor and a passion for bringing down the Empire. After discussing with Zeb how they ran things on the ship and on missions, all Kanan and Hera had to do was look at each other to confirm that they were both onboard with brining Zeb on.

 

“Well, Zeb, if you think you’d like to come onboard and work with us, we’d be happy to have you,” Hera said.

 

Zeb smiled a toothy smile and extended a hand to Hera and then to Kanan. “I’d love to be a part of your crew. We’re going to give them hell.”

 

“Yes, we are,” Kanan said, shaking Zeb’s hand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it couldn't just be the two of them forever, could it? Stay tuned though...the next chapter is one of my favorites.


	16. Chapter 16

_About two years and two months after A New Dawn..._

 

It had been the beginning of the day cycle on _The Ghost_ when Kanan had snuck into Hera’s room. They rarely stayed overnight in each other’s bunks since Zeb had joined them, but they still tried to find little moments for some alone time.

 

Kanan crawled into bed beside Hera, who was currently sleeping on her back, and pressed his lips to her cheek and kissed her.

 

She opened her eyes and a dreamy smile spread across her face. “Good morning, love,” she whispered.

 

“Good morning,” Kanan said, his voice husky from disuse.

 

“Is it time to get up?” she asked, turning on her side to face him.

 

“No, not yet. Actually, I’ve been getting up early lately in order to track Zeb’s sleeping habits. He probably won’t get up for another few hours, so we’ve got some time to ourselves before we need to worry about him being awake and wondering where we are.”

 

“Well, that’s a little creepy, Kanan,” she said, but Kanan could tell she was teasing him.

 

“I’ll go to great, _creepy_ lengths to spend some uninterrupted alone time with you,” he replied, before leaning in to give her a deep kiss, which then ignited the reason he was there in the first place.

 

Soon after, they were rolling around in Hera’s bed, thoroughly enjoying their alone time. Kanan positioned himself on top of Hera and met her eyes. There was a tremendous gleam, both tender and hungry, in her beautiful green eyes every time they made love, and Kanan made sure to make note of it in his head. He never wanted to forget that gleam.

 

Then, suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

 

“Hera? Are you awake? I can’t find Kanan, and I have a question for him.”

 

“He’s supposed to still be asleep,” he whispered hoarsly, as he remained leaning over her.

 

Hera rolled her eyes and shook her head. “So much for you tracking his sleeping habits,” she mumbled, before taking a breath to compose her voice. She then raised her voice to full volume and said, “Um, Zeb, Kanan’s with me. We’ll be out in a minute.”

 

There was silence from the other side of the door. Suppressing an almost involuntary groan, Kanan removed himself from Hera and gave her an apologetic look as they awaited the Lasat’s response.

 

Finally, Zeb spoke. “Okay, no rush. I’ll be in the galley.”

 

Kanan could hear Zeb’s footsteps as he retreated from the door.

 

“Honestly, I really thought he knew,” Hera whispered.

 

“Well, if he didn’t before, he does now,” Kanan commented. “First Chopper, now Zeb…”

 

Hera laughed and said, “Imagine if we had kids.”

 

Kanan raised an eyebrow, surprised that Hera would bring up something like that, considering their last conversation on children. He opened his mouth to respond, but Hera shook her head and said, “Don’t. I’m just messing around.”

 

Kanan dropped his head dramatically and sighed. He didn’t have much time to feign disappointment, however, because seconds later, Hera grabbed his face and kissed him.

 

“We’ll find time to finish this later, okay?” she said as she pulled away and began getting dressed for the day.

 

“Okay,” Kanan answered as he began to gather up his own strewn clothes.


	17. Chapter 17

_About two years and three months after A New Dawn..._

 

The _Ghost_ crew had just completed—or _not_ completed—a mission. Fortunately, their lives were never in danger, but they were unable to infiltrate the Imperial base they were supposed to break into because they had been given incorrect plans for the layout of the building.

 

After Hera, Kanan, and Zeb returned to the ship, aggravated and feeling defeated, Kanan and Zeb decided to open up a bottle of Sullustan rum. Hera, who had loosened up on the _Ghost’s_ drinking policy, had decided to forgo the imbibing and take a long, hot shower instead.

 

She must have been in the ‘fresher for longer than she thought because when she stepped out of the shower, she heard the boys’ boisterous voices in the galley.

 

 _They’re drunk already_ , she thought.

 

Hera took her time drying and getting into clean clothes, while listening to their conversation.

 

“…And then there was Chyla, and she was the most amazing fighter you’d ever met,” Zeb said. “She was much stronger and more aggressive than me—the best fighter in the Lasan Honor Guard.”

 

“And she…she died when the Empire devastated Lasan?” she heard Kanan ask.

 

“I’m not sure,” Zeb said. “She may have managed to escape. If anyone could have escaped, it would have been her. But I don’t know.”

 

“I hope she did,” Kanan told him.

 

“Me too,” Zeb replied. “Now, what about you? Tell me about the great loves of your life.”

 

“There’s only ever been one,” Kanan said.

 

“Hera?” Zeb asked. Hera could hear the sweetness in the Lasat’s voice.

 

“Of course. She really swept me off my feet, Zeb.”

 

Naturally, Hera knew this, but there was something about hearing Kanan talk about her to someone else that was just… _so charming._

 

“Did she now?” Zeb said, chuckling.

 

“Yes,” Kanan replied, also laughing. “I was head over heels almost immediately. The hard work was getting her to fall in love with me.”

 

Hera was fully dressed now, but she just wanted to hide in the ‘fresher indefinitely and continue to eavesdrop on Kanan and Zeb.

 

“Oh, so you chased _her_?” Zeb asked, a teasing lilt to his voice.

 

“Well, kind of. It was more like we just kept having these…moments. And eventually, we just gave in. Or I guess, she did. My feelings were always pretty clear, I think,” Kanan answered, before letting out a loud hiccup.

 

 _That was true_ , Hera thought, thinking back to when she had confronted him outside his room, ready to tell him how she felt and try to make him stay. It had been the first time she’d ever really acted with her heart.

 

“So, how long has it been?”

 

“Since we’ve been together?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“A little over a year,” Kanan said, and Hera was sure she could hear the pride in his voice.

 

“I know you two try to stay private,” Zeb said, “But from what I’ve seen, I can tell you this much: what you have with Hera is special. Hold on to it—to _her_.”

 

Hera listened for Kanan’s reply, but it didn’t come right away. She strained her earcones, trying to make out if anything that was happening in the galley. Finally, she heard Kanan speak. His voice was serious and… _emotional._

“I know,” Kanan responded. “Believe me, I know. Hera’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

Hera’s heart swelled, and she felt like it was time to exit the ‘fresher. She opened the door loudly and slowly to give them a reminder and warning that she was about to interrupt their heart-to-heart conversation.

 

When she walked fully into the galley, Kanan and Zeb both turned to her, having clearly forgotten she had been in the ‘fresher. Zeb smiled kindly at her, while Kanan looked at her as if she held the galaxy in her hands. It was a look she’d seen from him before, and it never failed to make her knees weak.

 

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice much softer than it had been when he was talking to Zeb.

 

“Hey,” she replied cheerily. “Mind if I join?”

 

Both Kanan and Zeb nodded, and Kanan poured Hera drink as she sat down next to Kanan.

 

The conversation changed to less intense topics now that Hera was sitting with them. Zeb was telling a story about a birthday tradition on Lasan, and as Hera listened, she found one of Kanan’s hands under the table and squeezed it.

 

Kanan glanced over at her for a brief moment, and she offered him her warmest smile. One day soon, she’d have to tell him that he very well may have been the best thing that ever happened to her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complete and total fluff, but I thought it was the perfect sweet thing to post on May 4th.
> 
> Though I've got many upcoming chapters already written, I'll probably start posting once a week instead of two or three times because I've been focusing a lot on two other fics I'm working on.


	18. Chapter 18

_About two years and four months after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan was searching the ship for Hera. He was cooking dinner tonight, and he wanted to know if she preferred nerf burgers or noodles with Naboo wine sauce. Zeb had wanted the burgers, while Kanan had preferred the noodles, so Hera was going to break their tie.

 

Having looked everywhere else, Kanan headed to the cockpit. They were in hyperspace right now, and Hera didn’t _need_ to be there, but Kanan knew she liked to hang out there sometimes and watch the calming blue lights.

 

Sure enough, she was in the cockpit. She was facing the front viewport, so Kanan couldn’t see her face, but he thought it looked like her shoulders were shaking.

 

“Hera?”

 

She turned around, and Kanan saw that her eyes were red and wet.

 

 _She’s been crying,_ he thought worriedly.

 

“Yes?” she sniffled.

 

“What’s wrong?” Kanan asked, approaching her.

 

“I got word today that Zal passed away.”

 

“Zal?” Kanan asked, surprised. “I didn’t realize you still kept in touch with her.”

 

He sat in the co-pilot’s seat beside Hera and took her hand.

 

“Well, you know we kept in touch during the first few months. Her little neighbor Ophie would help her send me messages. But the messages became shorter and more rare, and eventually they ceased completely.  Honestly, I didn't even realize we lost touch until today when I got word from Ophie that she passed away in her sleep last night.”

 

Kanan squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry, Hera. She was a good woman.”

 

Hera nodded in agreement. “She was. Ophie sent over some pictures for me to look at. Would you like to see them?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Hera grabbed her datapad and began swiping through, showing Kanan different pictures from Zaluna’s life on the small agricultural planet on which she had spent the last few years of her life living.

 

“Look how beautiful,” Hera commented, stopping at a picture of a colorful vegetable garden. “Ophie said that the garden was Zal’s life. It’s a shame she never got to _see_ it.”

 

“Yes, but I’m sure she was aware of its success. She must’ve eaten from the garden and probably even sold some of the produce in town.”

 

“Even still,” Hera said thoughtfully. “It would have been nice for her to be able to see its beauty.”

 

“She knew its worth without needing to see it,” Kanan assured her.

 

Hera nodded and Kanan leaned forward to wipe away a few more tears from her cheeks.

 

“Thanks, Kanan.”

 

“Of course,” Kanan replied, before kissing her on the forehead and pulling her into an embrace.

 

“Did you need something, love?” she asked after a few peaceful moments.

 

“Yes, actually," Kanan said, breaking their embrace.  "I need you to break a tie between me and Zeb.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Nerf burgers or noodles with Naboo wine sauce?”

 

Hera laughed, and Kanan’s insides melted. He was happy to see her smiling again.

 

“Definitely nerf burgers.”

 

Kanan's shoulders sank. “Really?”

 

"Yes. Let’s save that wine for a special night.  Maybe we can kick Zeb off the ship for the night or something...” Hera said with a twinkle in her eye.

 

Kanan smirked. “Okay, I like that idea.”

 

He stood up and kissed Hera on the crown of her head. “Zal’s one with the Force now, Hera. She’s where she belongs. Try to remember that.”

 

“I will,” she said. “Thanks again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am obviously not subtle. This chapter was written so because 1) I thought there needed to be at least some throwback to a character from A New Dawn and 2) Zaluna wound up blind, which was definitely some sort of foreshadowing, so I thought I would expand on that the slightest bit.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	19. Chapter 19

_About two years and five months after A New Dawn..._

 

They were returning to the mid-rim, much to Kanan’s concern. When Fulcrum had asked them to return to Hiyam, Hera pulled Kanan aside and asked him if he wanted her to turn down the mission. Kanan had been touched that Hera had come to him first, but ultimately, he told her to take the job. He wasn’t going to hold Hera back, and in the year or so since their last trip to the mid-rim, Kanan had come to terms with these more dangerous missions being part of the growth of the rebellion.

 

Of course, Kanan was still nervous about going to the mid-rim. Since their last mission there—and likely _because_ of their last mission there—security had increased on Hiyam.

 

That was why he was currently digging through the drawer where he kept his very few personal items, looking for two metal pieces that he hadn’t taken out since he moved into the bunk. The pieces were under all of his other personal things, and Kanan removed them from the drawer and examined them for a moment. He didn’t want to have to use the pieces, but he would if he needed to.   He attached them to his belt, took a deep breath, and exited his bunk.

 

He met Hera and Zeb in the cockpit, and Hera announced that they were approaching landfall.

 

Zeb cracked his knuckles excitedly and chuckled. “I’ve been waiting for a particularly dangerous mission.”

           

Hera looked at him and offered him a half smile before turning behind her to look at Kanan. He knew she was trying to assess his mood. He gave her a confident smile in response and saw some relief flash across Hera’s face.

 

Hera landed the _Ghost_ in a spaceport far enough away from where their mission was going to be.

 

“Zeb, would you mind giving Kanan and me a minute, please?” she asked, after they were grounded.

 

Zeb nodded neutrally and exited the cockpit.

 

Kanan, anticipating what Hera was going to say, spoke first. “I’m fine, Hera. Don’t worry about me.”

 

“You can stay here if you want to,” she said earnestly. “We can do this mission with two people.”

 

“No,” he replied adamantly. “I want to be a part of it.”

 

“Okay,” Hera said, beaming up at Kanan and pulling him into her arms. They held each other for a moment before Hera pulled back. Her gaze drifted down to his waist. “What’s that?”

 

Kanan looked down at the two metal pieces on his belt and sighed. He should have waited to attach them to his belt until after they were off the ship and Hera couldn’t oppose him. He carefully removed the two metal pieces from his belt and attached them.

 

Hera inhaled sharply.

 

Kanan activated his weapon and a blue light shot up from the metal sword.

 

“I…I didn’t know you had one still,” she whispered.

 

“I hid it away. Honestly, I half forgot about it. Today was the first time I’ve taken it out since I joined you,” he told her seriously.

 

“Why do you have it out now?”

 

Kanan gave her a look, as if he was pleading with her to not make him answer that question.

 

“Why, Kanan?”

 

Her voice was still soft, but there was sternness to it now.

 

“…in case we need a distraction,” he said, holding her gaze.

 

“You’re saying...” she trailed off and then took a deep breath to steady herself. “You’re saying that you would expose yourself as a Jedi, thereby putting a big X on your back, if it looks like we need a distraction?”

 

“Not exactly, I—“

 

Kanan stopped when Hera gave him a death stare.

 

“Basically, yes,” he corrected.

 

“And you didn’t want to share this with me beforehand?”

 

“I knew you wouldn’t agree with it,” he told her honestly.

 

“Damn right I wouldn’t—and I don’t. You’re not bringing that with you.”

 

Kanan put his hands on Hera’s shoulders and spoke to her calmly. “I’m taking the lightsaber with me. It’s my way of feeling comfortable on this planet. You accept these missions; I take my lightsaber.”

 

Hera frowned and, after a moment, said, “I don’t want you sacrificing your identity unnecessarily.”

 

“I won’t,” he assured her. “I’ll only use it if there’s no other option for you and Zeb to escape.”

 

“And you’re just going to use your best judgment on that?” Hera asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

Hera scoffed.

 

“Hey—my judgment’s gotten much better over the years. Thanks to _you_ , of course.” He offered her his most charming smile, and she just rolled her eyes.

 

“Flattery won’t work, Kanan,” Hera said seriously.

 

“Hera, c’mon. I don’t want to have to use my lightsaber either. I don’t want to make myself a target. But I _will_ if it means saving you and Zeb.”

 

“So what happened to last time when you said going to the mid-rim was a bad idea because you didn’t want to expose yourself as a Jedi because it could put you _and me_ in serious danger? Now you’re just willing to expose yourself in the _most obvious_ way.”

 

“I told you,” Kanan said, “I’ll only use it if there’s no other option. And, well… if I have to use my lightsaber—and I still manage to live—then I guess I’ll have to think about leaving.”

 

“If you use your dumb lightsaber and manage to live— _which you better_ —then you’re staying,” she told him firmly.

 

“I don’t want to put you in danger like that, Hera.”

 

“ _I_ get to decide whether or not I want to be put in danger,” she said jamming her thumb into her chest.

 

Kanan didn’t like it, but he knew Hera was right. Knowing her, she wouldn’t _let_ him leave, even if he wanted to.

 

He sighed. “Okay. You’re right.”

 

            “Yes, I am,” she said crossing her arms. “Now take that thing apart and put it back on your belt. We’ve got to get going. Zeb probably thinks we’re having a quickie up against the console or something.”

 

“Hey, we haven’t tried that before,” Kanan said in his most mischievous voice, hoping to get Hera to crack a smile.

 

It worked. Hera’s lips quirked up into a small smirk. “C’mon, let’s go.”

 

Kanan quickly disconnected the two pieces and reattached them to his belt and then followed Hera out of the cockpit. Zeb gave them both a suspicious look but said nothing.

 

Fortunately, the mission was a success, and Kanan did not have to use his weapon. When they got back to the ship that night, Kanan made his way to Hera’s bunk to apologize for not being upfront with her about his lightsaber. She accepted his apology and then asked him to tell her how he made his lightsaber came to be. Holding her in his arms, Kanan told her the story of how he and a dozen other younglings travelled to Ilum to find and harvest their kyber crystals.

 

He eventually fell asleep, with Hera still in his arms, dreaming of a world where he didn’t have to hide his lightsaber or Jedi skills from the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned...next chapter we get a new crew member :)


	20. Chapter 20

  _About three years after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera, Kanan, and Zeb sat in a dark, smokey cantina on a small moon in the outer-rim. They were supposed to meet a contact there, but the contact never showed up, much to Hera’s chagrin. They had come to this moon specifically to meet with this guy, and Hera now considered the trip a waste of time and fuel.

 

Kanan kept reminding her that the contact may have run into trouble and that she shouldn’t get too upset. He had a point, she knew. Hera just hated wasted time, always feeling like she should be doing more.

 

Kanan and Zeb definitely helped her mood, though. Now, having the rest of the evening off, the two men were each enjoying their third drink and both were pleasantly tipsy without being obnoxiously drunk. Mainly, they kept on making stupid jokes that Hera had to laugh at despite herself.

 

It was getting late now, and Hera was getting tired. With a surprising amount of success, she rounded up Kanan and Zeb, and the three of them made their way toward the exit. Kanan and Zeb were walking behind her at a glacial pace, but Hera didn’t really mind. _Let them enjoy the night_ , she thought. _Someone should._

 

Suddenly, she heard a scream from outside. She turned behind her to look at Kanan and Zeb, whose faces were suddenly serious and sober. A knowing look passed between the three of them, and they rushed out the cantina in search of the person who’d produced that scream.

 

There was no commotion in the front of the establishment, but Hera thought she could hear muffled screams coming from the side alley.

 

“This way,” she motioned to Kanan and Zeb, as she rushed in the direction of the noise.

 

The alleyway was unlit, but Hera could still make out the gist of what was going on. There were two human men trying—and failing—to restrain a young woman.

 

One of the men grabbed the girl from behind by her waist and lifted her off the ground. In response, the girl kicked her right leg behind her and, with surprisingly good accuracy, struck the man in the groin. He immediately released her, and she then turned her attention to the other guy who was getting ready to punch her. The girl dodged the punch and quickly removed her blaster from its holster at her side, shooting him square in the chest. She then turned her blaster to her first assailant who was still on the ground and shot him too.

 

The girl then turned her head and saw Hera, Kanan, and Zeb looking at her. She aimed her blaster at them, and immediately Hera threw her hands up, with Kanan and Zeb following suit.

 

“We’re not hostile!” Hera exclaimed.

 

The girl lowered her blaster, whether because of Hera’s proclamation or because she heard a female voice Hera did not know.

 

“Who are you?” the girl asked suspiciously.

 

“We were just in the cantina,” Hera explained. “We heard you scream.” She looked over at Kanan and said, “Turn on your glow-rod, so she can see our faces.”

 

Moments later, a dim light shone in the alley, and Hera was actually able to see the girl. She was tall and thin and the features on her young face were sharp. Her tan skin contrasted well with her short fuchsia colored hair, and, to Hera’s surprise, she was wearing Mandalorian armor. She was bleeding from her cuts on her forehead and her lip.

 

“I’m Hera,” she said, introducing herself. “And these are my associates, Kanan and Zeb.”

 

The girl did not respond and only continued looking at them dubiously.

 

Hera took a careful step forward. “Can we take you back to your home? We’re all armed, so you’re safe with us.”

 

The girl’s gaze dropped to the ground. “I’m kind of in between homes right now.”

 

“Okay,” Hera said gently. “Can we take you back to our ship for the night, then? You’re bleeding, and we have a fully stocked medpack.”

 

“Why should I trust you?” the girl asked, wiping her bleeding lip with the back of her hand.

 

Hera wasn’t sure what to say. Of course, the girl could trust them, but what could she say without revealing that they were rebels fighting against the Empire?

 

“Look, kid, when I first ran into these two, I wasn’t sure if I could trust them either. My people had been killed and my planet had been devastated; why should I trust anyone after that? But I decided to, and it wound up being the right decision.”

 

Hera turned behind her to smile at Zeb, who shrugged sheepishly.

 

“Fine,” the girl grumbled after a long beat.

 

When they got back to the ship, Hera asked Kanan and Zeb to stay out of sight. She suspected the girl, whose name she learned was Sabine, was probably still a little skittish around men after her near kidnapping encounter.

 

Hera helped patch Sabine up and offered her their last spare cabin for the night.

 

“We’ll take you wherever you want in the morning,” Hera said, opening the door to Sabine’s temporary room.

 

“I don’t really know where to go,” Sabine replied. “I’ve been stowing away in ships and living on the streets for the past few weeks.”

 

Hera worked to keep her face neutral so that her concern wouldn’t show. She didn’t think Sabine would appreciate the pitying look.

 

“So, what’s your next move?” Hera asked, leaning against the wall inside Sabine’s room.

 

Sabine pulled down the sheets to her bunk and, keeping her eyes on the bed, said, “I’m not sure.”

 

Hera nodded, having expected that answer. Taking a leap and hoping her next question wouldn’t shut the girl off, Hera asked, “Sabine, where do you come from?”

 

“Mandalore,” Sabine answered quietly.

 

“Can I ask why you left?”

 

Sabine turned to face Hera, and Hera saw stony resolve in her face. “I was in the Imperial Academy and left because I grew a brain. And a spine. My family, on the other hand, chose the Empire over me.”

 

There was a clenching feeling in Hera’s chest, and she realized she and Sabine had two big things in common: a hatred for the Empire and an unsupportive family.

 

Not wanting to push for more information, Hera simply nodded.

 

“I’ll get back on my feet,” Sabine said forcefully.

 

“I’m sure you will,” Hera told her sincerely. “But for tonight, I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, my cabin is right down the hall.”

 

After Hera left Sabine, she went in search of the men, finding Kanan sitting at the dejarik table, munching on a ration bar.

 

“Where’s Zeb? I want to talk to you two about something,” Hera asked, sitting down beside him.

 

“He turned in for the night. What did you want to talk about?”

 

“The girl—Sabine—doesn’t have anywhere to go. She told me she used to be a student at the Imperial Academy before her conscience got the best of her and when she dropped out, her family rejected her. She’s been living on the streets pretty much ever since.”

 

Kanan nodded thoughtfully for a moment before a knowing sparkle appeared in his eyes. “You want to take her on, don’t you?”

 

“I do,” Hera answered, smiling. “If she wants to come aboard.”

 

“Do you think she does?”

 

“I’m not sure. But you saw her—she’s brilliant with a blaster, and she clearly has no love for the Empire.”

 

“She is a kid though,” Kanan said, though Hera could tell he wasn’t disagreeing with her idea.

 

“She’s not much younger than I was when I started fighting,” Hera replied.

 

“You’re right,” Kanan agreed, yawning while he stretched out his arm so that he could put it around Hera.

 

“So, you wouldn’t mind having her join?”

 

“Not at all. And I think Zeb will feel the same.”

 

“Yeah, and with a fourth crewmember maybe he won't feel like he's always the odd man out,” Hera mused, looking up at Kanan and grinning at him.

 

The next morning, after running their idea by Zeb, Hera, Kanan and Zeb sat Sabine down and invited her to join the _Ghost_ crew.

 

She looked at them, more guarded than ungrateful. “I can take care of myself.”

 

 “Of course, you can,” Hera replied. “And if you join us, we’ll expect you to. We don’t want to be your babysitters. We want you to be a part of our team.”

 

“And why would I do that?” Sabine asked skeptically.

 

“Because we’re all a little like you,” Kanan told her. “We’re all outsiders in one way or another. And we all hate the Empire.”

 

Sabine looked at all three of them, examining their faces and, likely, their sincerity. Finally, she sighed and, with the smallest smile, said, “Can I join on a trial basis?”

 

“Of course,” Hera said, sticking her hand out to Sabine.

 

Sabine took her hand and shook it.


	21. Chapter 21

  _About three years and two months after A New Dawn..._

 

It was early in day cycle as the _Ghost_ travelled through hyperspace. Kanan had snuck into Hera’s cabin late the night before for some one-on-one time. They’d fallen asleep satisfied and in each other’s arms. Had it still just been the two of them, Kanan would have stayed in Hera’s bed until the next morning and maybe even gone for a round two. But he and Hera had both agreed on no sleepovers for the time being now that Sabine, a teenager, was on board.

 

So, after giving a half-asleep Hera a kiss goodbye, Kanan quietly slipped out of her room to make his way back to his own cabin. There was only one cabin between this and hers—a silly decision that Hera had likely made when she had intended on keeping their relationship professional—and Kanan should have been able to make it back to his room unnoticed. As soon as he closed Hera’s door, however, he saw the light in the galley go off and Sabine enter the hallway.

 

He froze in front of Hera’s door, and Sabine froze as well, looking at him suspiciously.

 

“Everything okay?” Kanan asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

 

“Yes, I just woke up early and decided to take a shower,” Sabine answered. “What were _you_ doing?”

 

“I just woke up early as well.”

 

He wasn’t close with Sabine yet and she was still quite guarded.

 

Sabine’s eyes narrowed. “In Hera’s room?”

 

Kanan sighed and ran a hand through his loose hair. “I guess you should know—“

 

“I knew it!” Sabine exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

 

“…You knew it?” Kanan asked, confused.

 

“I was pretty sure you two were together, but I never saw anything that actually confirmed it for me.  Until now.”

 

Kanan laughed. “How did you know?”

 

“Mostly from the way you look at her or the way she looks at you when the other isn’t paying attention.  Mainly the way you look at her,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

 

“Really?”

 

“You’re not really subtle, Kanan,” Sabine answered, shrugging. “It’s like every time she’s talking, you’re looking at her like she’s holding the galaxy in her hands.”

 

Kanan felt a blush creeping up his neck. “Oh. Well, yes, we’re together. But we like to keep it to ourselves so that it doesn’t affect our missions or bother our other crewmembers.”

 

“Oh, I’m not bothered,” Sabine said. “I assume Zeb knows?”

 

“Yeah, he knows, though I think it took him a little longer to figure it out.”

 

“I guess I’m just perceptive,” Sabine said.

 

Kanan smiled. “You are. Just do me a favor—don’t tell Hera you saw me coming out of her room.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You know how I said we like to keep it to ourselves? Most of that is Hera. She’s especially particular about you knowing. I guess it’s because you’re younger.”

 

Sabine rolled her eyes but nodded good-naturedly. “Okay. We’ll keep this between us.”

 

“Thanks, Sabine,” Kanan said. “As thanks, I’ll make you an extra space waffle this morning for breakfast.”

 

Sabine grinned. “I might just have to keep more of your secrets then.”

 

Kanan chuckled, more to himself than to Sabine.  He definitely had more secrets she'd discover eventually, he thought.

 


	22. Chapter 22

_About three years and five months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera got the holo-message late into the night cycle after everyone else had gone to sleep. She had tried to contain her emotions until the morning, but she quickly found herself crying into her pillow and knew she needed to talk about the message she’d just received.

 

Rising from her bed, Hera padded across the floor, but when she opened the door, she was surprised to see that Kanan was already there.

 

“What’s wrong?” they both asked simultaneously.

 

Hera smiled threw her tears. “You first.”

 

“You’re upset. I could feel it, so I came to see what was going on.”

 

“My father was seriously injured in a battle on Ryloth this morning. One of his lieutenants sent me a message, letting me know.”

 

Kanan’s face fell. “Oh, Hera, I’m so sorry.”

 

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly and when they broke apart, Hera invited him into her room.

 

They both sat against the back of the bunk. Kanan had his arm around Hera, and she was curled up beside him, needing his comfort and warmth more than ever right now.

 

“I haven’t talked to him in years. You know that.”

 

“Yeah,” Kanan replied, drawing circles onto her upper arm with his fingers.

 

"They said he was probably going to pull through. They’re going to send me updates as they get them.”

 

“That’s good,” Kanan soothed.

 

“I…I want to go to Ryloth.  To see him.”

 

She just couldn’t see any way around it. Hera needed to see her dad. When she was seventeen, she left her home on Ryloth and her father had basically disowned her. Being both hurt and stubborn, Hera had vowed to never return home. But now, she realized she needed to go home and attempt to make peace with her father.

 

“You do?” Kanan asked. Hera could hear the surprise in his voice.

 

“Yes. I want for us to be on good terms. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if he died after how we left things.”

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kanan asked, kissing her lightly on the top of her head between her lekku.

 

Hera shook her head. This was something she needed to do alone.

 

“You’ll have to drop me off, but I need to see him by myself.”

 

“I understand,” Kanan replied. “When did you want to go?”

 

Hera sighed. “The sooner, the better.”

 

“We don’t have any pressing missions on the horizon, do we?”

 

“No.”

 

“We’ll set course in the morning, then.”

 

Hera leaned up to kiss Kanan on the cheek. “Thank you, love.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“If things go well, I would like for you to meet him someday.”

 

“You know I’d like to meet the man who raised the formidable Captain Syndulla,” Kanan responded, squeezing Hera.

 

Hera chuckled. “Stay with me tonight, please.”

 

“I’d like nothing more than that,” Kanan replied, as he pulled the covers up for them.

           

 She’d never tell Kanan, but that night Hera fell asleep and dreamt of a time when she could introduce Kanan to her father. But that was such a different time from the one they were living in now…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of a three part mini-arc within this fic. This chapter was obviously more of an exposition than anything else, but I love being able to show that Kanan can sense when something is up with Hera.


	23. Chapter 23

_About three years and six months after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he got the message that Hera was returning from her trip to Ryloth. She had sent him a transmission from a spaceport in Ryloth, saying that she was going to take a public transport shuttle from Ryloth to Lothal where the _Ghost_ and its crewmembers were currently stationed. Kanan didn’t understand why Hera hadn’t just asked to be picked up from Ryloth, but he assumed he’d get the story once he saw her in person.

 

According to her message, she was arriving at the spaceport tomorrow around midday. After a sit-down meeting with Zeb and Sabine, Kanan had decided to cook a Welcome Home dinner for her. Today, Zeb and Sabine had gone to town to purchase the ingredients Kanan had requested, while Kanan and Chopper worked on cleaning the ship from top to bottom. Aware of how important her ship’s cleanliness was to her, Kanan kept the ship in good condition for the month that Hera had been away, but he wanted to make sure everything was perfect for her return.

           

It was now evening, and in less than twenty-four standard hours, Hera would be home. Kanan, who was currently in his cabin, was ecstatic for Hera’s return. When she had left a month earlier, he expected her to be gone for a week or two at the most. But, when two weeks passed, Kanan grew momentarily worried. Deep down, he believed that Hera would come back, but, of course, there was a small part of him that thought she feared that she might stay on her home planet.

 

He’d never done as much meditating as he had done during this time. The Jedi mantra, which he so conveniently never thought about, slipped back into his mind, and he found himself repeating it over and over in an attempt to calm his nerves.

 

So, when Kanan had gotten a message from Hera saying she was returning to the _Ghost_ , Kanan had been able to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

 

Despite his current excitement, however, Kanan was still trying to meditate now. Returning to meditation, Kanan found, was good for his spirit, and he believed it made him a better man.

 

Kanan had just sat down on his bed to begin his meditation when Sabine banged on his door, saying that someone who sounded like Hera was requesting entry onto the ship.

 

He jumped off the bed, exited his bunk, and followed Sabine to the com button right above the cargo hold. Zeb was waiting there too, looking excited.

 

“It’s got to be her,” he said.

 

“But she’s not supposed to return until tomorrow,” Kanan replied, before pressing the com button. “This is the temporary captain of the _Ghost_ speaking. May I ask who is requesting entry?”

 

“Temporary captain, huh?” the voice said.

 

“ _Hera_ ,” he whispered to himself, a warm feeling coming over his body. _She’s home_.

 

“Can we let her in now?” Sabine asked.

 

“Yes!” Kanan exclaimed, as Sabine pressed the button that opened and then lowered the ramp. He, Zeb, and Sabine all quickly climbed down the ladder into the cargo hold and then ran down the ramp to greet Hera.

 

Kanan got down the ramp first, running straight to Hera, who was running straight for him, as well. They threw their arms around each other and kissed for a long moment. When they pulled back, Kanan saw tears—happy tears, he hoped—in Hera’s eyes.

 

“I’ve missed you so much,” he told her, before pulling her back into a hug.

 

“I’ve missed you too, love,” Hera whispered in his ear as they embraced.

 

“Okay, okay, let’s not hog the captain, Kanan,” Zeb said, approaching them.

 

Kanan watched as Hera greeted both Zeb and Sabine. Her lekku happily curled as she embraced each of them, and Kanan could _feel_ how happy she was to be back. Beneath her buoyant attitude, however, Kanan saw tiredness in Hera’s eyes. He was certain he would have missed it had he not known Hera as well as he did.

 

After the initial reunion, the foursome made their way back inside the ship. Once inside, Hera got to greet Chopper, and Kanan was impressed to see that even the astromech was happy to see Hera again.

 

“You know, we were going to have a little welcome home dinner for you,” Kanan told her, as the four of them gathered in the galley.

 

“But you just had to come home early,” Zeb said, chuckling as he dug through the cabinets for something to eat.

 

“Don’t listen to him, Hera,” Sabine said. “We’ll just have the dinner tomorrow.”

 

Hera, who was sitting at the table with Kanan, took Kanan’s hand in hers—a gesture that surprised Kanan—and said, “Yes, we can do that tomorrow. Tonight I think I just want to eat some comfort food and turn in early. It’s been a long trip.”

 

“Comfort food coming up, then,” Zeb, arguably the second best cook on the ship after Kanan, said.

 

Zeb whipped up a simple noodle dish for them. Kanan, Sabine, and Zeb updated Hera on the simple missions they had undertaken while Hera was away, but Hera didn’t volunteer more information than she was asked. The most she relayed was that her father was alive, in much better shape, and ready to get on the battlefield again. Kanan could still see that tired look in Hera’s eyes. It was more than just physical exhaustion though, Kanan thought. There was an emotional component to this look, as well. He hoped that maybe in the morning, he could get up early and visit her cabin to make sure she was okay. Tonight, however, Kanan planned to just let her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've read, I wrote them kissing here in front of the crew. I know the crew seems surprised when they see them kissing in season 4, but I don't think the kiss here contradicts that. My theory (which I hope to touch on later on in this fic) is that the crewmembers, particularly Zeb and Sabine, can tell that over time things changed between Kanan and Hera, and their reaction in season 4 isn't so much shock at seeing them kiss, but instead it's pleasant surprise and happiness for their friends getting their groove back.
> 
> I've already posted the next chapter as well, so be sure to click ahead :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place immediately following the previous chapter.

_About three years and six months after A New Dawn..._

 

In the dead of the night cycle, Hera quietly exited her cabin and made her way to Kanan’s. She quietly rapped on his door. After a moment, Kanan opened the door, and when he saw her, his groggy expression cleared from his face.

 

“Hey,” he said, his voice thick with sleep. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Hera responded. “I couldn’t sleep and was wondering if we could talk.”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Kanan said, opening his door fully so that Hera could enter.

 

As they settled side by side on Kanan’s bed, Hera said, “I’m sorry to have woken you. I thought you might still be awake. You used to be such a night owl.”

 

Kanan chuckled as he pulled his blanket up to cover both his and Hera’s legs.

 

“Yeah, I _used_ to be a night owl. When I had a reason to be up late,” Kanan said, nudging Hera’s shoulder with his own.

 

Hera grinned. “I missed that…should I call it _charm_?”

 

“Yeah, I think charm works,” Kanan said, now putting his right arm around her shoulder. “Now _._ Tell me what’s up.”

 

Hera let out a massive sigh. “You know I went to make peace with my father.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Hera shook her head and leaned into Kanan. “Well, I did…for about two and a half weeks.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“When I got there, he was in bad shape, but he was conscious. And he was so happy to see me.”

 

“That’s great,” Kanan said, squeezing her shoulder with his arm.

 

“It was,” Hera smiled, thinking about the memory.

 

Cham had been sitting up in his bed when Hera had entered his room, surprising him. When he saw his daughter, Cham’s face broke out into a huge grin, revealing his sharpened teeth. He couldn’t open his arms to hug her, but Hera approached him nonetheless and gently put her arms around him.

 

“Immediately, it was as if all of the bad blood between us had disappeared. And things stayed like that for a while. Well, for about two and a half weeks anyway. I was at his bedside day and night, regaling him with stories of our missions and telling him about you too.”

 

“You told him about me?” Kanan asked curiously.

 

“Of course, I did.”

 

“So, you told him about _us,_ then?”

 

“I did.”

 

“How much did you tell him?”

 

Hera felt Kanan’s body tense, but she reassured him. “He’s a war general, remember? He knows how to keep a secret. And he wouldn’t do anything to put you in danger because it would put me in danger too.”

 

“So he knows I was a Jedi padawan?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, if you trust him, then I trust him,” Kanan said, and Hera was thankful to feel Kanan relax against her once more.

 

Hera leaned up to kiss Kanan on his cheek before going on. “So, things were going really well for a time. But then, one of his commanders, a childhood friend of mine named Roon, started coming around. And I was getting the distinct feeling that Roon was not there just there to check on my father.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kanan asked.

 

“I mean, my father and Roon were colluding to try and get me to stay and fight for Ryloth. You see, when before I left Ryloth, I had the biggest crush on Roon. And of course my father loved him because, even as a child, he exhibited great combat skills. For whatever reason though, Roon never seemed to reciprocate any interest in me. But, I suspect my father had talked Roon into trying to convince me to stay, trying to use my adolescent feelings against me.”

 

“Was he trying to get Roon to seduce you into staying?” Kanan asked, eyes wide.

 

“Basically, yes.”

 

_Hera recalled being in the lower level of her family’s compound late one night after her father had gone to sleep. She and Roon were sitting in the kitchen area, drinking tea and reminiscing about childhood. They had been laughing about their childhood combat training._

 

_“You were the only one who could ever beat me in hand-to-hand combat,” Roon had said._

_"Yeah, but sometimes I liked to let you win,” Hera had told him._

_At the time, she’d done it because she desperartely wanted him to like her. She’d never do something as ridiculous as that now. She’d beaten Kanan a few times when they had sparred, and he_ loved _the fact that she could knock him right on his butt._

_“I thought you might have,” Roon had replied, with a peculiar, slightly unnerving twinkle in his eye._

_“Yeah, I was young and stupid then,” Hera had said, shrugging and finishing her tea._

_“No,_ I _was the young and dumb one,” Roon had corrected, reaching out to touch Hera’s hand._

_It was an almost laughable display of forced affection, and Hera herself maybe would have laughed if she didn’t have a strong suspicion of what was going on._

_She had snatched her hand away from Roon and stood from her chair, anger boiling up inside of her. Roon had known she was seeing someone. Her father_ had known _she was seeing someone. And Roon's actions had her father written all over them._

 

_“Don’t do that, Roon,” she haf warned._

_“Hera, I made a mistake when we were younger. I didn’t see you and you were right in front of me. I don’t want to make that mistake again.”_

_It was like he had been reading from a script, but she knew her father would go to any length to get her to stay, and his soldiers would do anything for him._

_“Go home,” Hera had told him, her voice cold. “You can tell my father his scheming failed. Or better yet, I will.”_

 

“You confronted your father about this?” Kanan asked.

 

“Yes, and he admitted that he wished for me to stay. Basically, he gave me the same speech he gave right before I left Ryloth the first time. And then I told him the same things I told him right before I left for the first time, but I added that now I’ve got a sort of family of my own. He didn’t like that, of course.”

 

“He thought you were abandoning your blood family?” Kanan deduced.

 

Hera nodded. “Yes. We reached an impasse of course, and that’s when I decided it was time to leave. My father had healed enough by that point that I knew he’d recover fully very soon. So, I told him I loved him—something I didn’t do the last time I left Ryloth. He didn’t say it back, but I could _see_ the love in his eyes and decided that that would have to be enough. Then I went to the public spaceport, bought a ticket for a transport back here, and then called you to let you know I was coming home.”

 

“ _Home_ ,” Kanan repeated, speaking the word to the crown of Hera’s head before kissing her there.

 

Hera laughed. “And then someone cancelled their seat on the next trip out, and I asked if I could take it so that I could get home even earlier and surprise you.”

 

“It was a great surprise,” Kanan said, now beginning to gently stroke her lekku.

 

Hera leaned into him even more and remained quiet for a few minutes. But then Kanan began to kiss her lekku—a gesture that typically led to much more than kissing—and Hera pulled away.

 

“Not tonight, Kanan,” she said softly, not bothering to lift her head from his shoulder.

 

Kanan stopped kissing her and apologized. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve just missed you.”

 

“I’ve missed you too,” Hera told him. “You know, I love my family there, but going back to Ryloth really showed me how strong of a family I have here too.”

 

“You _are_ my family,” Kanan replied, squeezing her tighter.

 

Hera remained in his arms for about twenty more minutes before finally removing herself from Kanan and announcing that she thought she should try to sleep again.

 

“You can stay here,” Kanan offered.

 

Hera heard the hope in his voice, and it broke her heart a little to turn him down.

 

“I really just want to sleep in my own bunk tonight,” Hera answered truthfully. It had, after all, been about a month since she had had the chance to do so.

 

Kanan nodded. “Okay.”

 

He got up from the bed and walked Hera to the door. They embraced each other for a long moment, and Kanan said, “I’m _so_ happy you’re home.”

 

“Me too, love,” Hera replied, kissing him on the cheek. She then exited his cabin and made her way back into her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a few things:
> 
> First, this chapter and the previous one probably could have been combined in one chapter, but one is from Kanan's POV and one is from Hera's POV, and I didn't want to switch perspectives in the same chapter. Secondly, I've always had this idea that Cham would use Hera's feelings against her to try and convince her to stay and fight for Ryloth. I've tried writing different versions, and ultimately, I was most comfortable framing it here with Hera just telling Kanan what happened. Third, in Rebels S2, when Cham and Hera reunite, Cham has already heard of Kanan, saying something like "This is the Jedi I've heard so much about." A large reason I wrote this little arc is because that line always baffled me because I thought Hera and Cham had been estranged up until that point. So, I wrote it, in part, to fill that gap in my head. LASTLY, I am probably not going to post next week. I've been hit with a wave of inspiration for another fic, and I'm trying to ride that wave as long as it lasts. This means I haven't had enough time to really work on this fic. (I have about seven chapters currently in the backlog, but I like to usually write about ten chapters ahead of what I post, soo I need to catch up a little.)
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you've enjoyed :)


	25. Chapter 25

_About three years and nine months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera jolted awake at the sound of loud banging on her door. Her first thought was that her ship and crew were under attack, and so before she even put on a robe, she reached for her blaster on her nightstand.

 

“What’s going on?” she shouted from still inside her room as she quickly wrapped herself in a robe.

 

Zeb’s voice responded, “It’s Kanan. Something’s wrong.”

 

Hera’s heart dropped into her stomach. She quickly deposited her blaster back on the nightstand and then opened her door. Zeb and Sabine were both standing in front of her. Worry painted their sleepy faces.

 

“What’s happening?” she asked. She was surprised to hear her voice was trembling.

 

“I heard him through the walls in my room. He’s shouting. It sounds like he’s having a nightmare. I figured you’d know what to do,” Zeb said.

 

Kanan had once confessed to Hera that he suffered from occasional nightmares, though she had never witnessed one for herself, so despite what Zeb and Sabine seemed to think, Hera had no idea what to do in this situation.

           

She didn’t admit this to her other crew members though. Instead, she just nodded tightly and walked over to Kanan’s cabin and opened his door.

 

When she entered his room, she saw Kanan was asleep but writhing around in his bunk with a pained expression on his face. He was moaning mostly nonsense, though occasionally he let out a shout of distress.

 

Hera watched in horror for a few seconds, paralyzed with the uncertainty of how to deal with this foreign situation. But then Kanan screamed out, “ _Let go of her!”_

She was then shaken out of her paralysis and took a step forward to the bed.

 

“Kanan,” she spoke softly so as not to frighten him.

 

He continued to moan and writhe around, twisting his distressed body in his sheets.

 

“ _Kanan_ ,” Hera said again, this time with a little more force in her voice.

 

Kanan let out a sad whimper, but Hera could tell he was still in the midst of his dream.

 

She took one more step toward his bed and spoke once more, returning to a softer inflection. “Kanan, love. It’s me—Hera. Wake up.”

 

When Kanan opened his eyes, Hera closed the space between them and kneeled down beside his bed. Up close, she could see beads of sweat on his forehead, and she instinctively reached out and wiped the perspiration away.

 

“You’re okay. You’re on the _Ghost_ and you’re okay,” she told him.

 

“I—I had a nightmare,” he said, his voice confused and groggy.

 

“I know,” she said gently. “Zeb heard you and came to get me.”

 

“I was loud?” Kanan asked, wincing.

 

“A little bit,” she replied, stroking his cheek now. 

 

Kanan shook his head thoughtfully. “I haven’t had a nightmare like that in a long time. Maybe as long as two years…”

 

“Yeah. In all our time together, I've never seen you have one.”

 

“Maybe having you in bed with me helped,” he suggested with a small lopsided smile.

 

Hera returned his small grin. “Are you okay now?”

 

“I’m a little shaken up, but yes, I’m okay,” Kanan said, now scooting over in the bed to allow Hera some room.

 

Hera recognized the gesture without Kanan needing to invite her with words, and she climbed into bed beside him. She reached around behind him, put her arm around his midback, and then leaned her head on his shoulder. He rested his hand on her thigh.

 

Kanan didn’t speak for a long time, and Hera thought he might have fallen asleep. Hera herself started to doze when she felt Kanan stir and clear his throat.

 

“I dreamt that you had been taken. By the Empire.”

 

“Oh, Kanan…”

 

Hera lifted her head from his shoulder to get a look at his face. He had tears in his eyes.

 

“It felt _so real._ ,” Kanan replied, his voice hoarse. “You had been captured by some…some _thing_ , some sentient species I didn’t recognize. I’m not sure it really exists. And I was there, but I couldn’t move, I couldn’t help. I just watched you being dragged away, and there was nothing I could do about it. I haven’t felt so helpless since…well, _you know_.”

           

Hera did know. Kanan was, of course, referring to Order 66. He hadn’t felt so helpless since he watched his master sacrifice herself for him. In her own life, Hera had never felt so powerless, and she hated that Kanan had felt that way twice with one of those times being about her—even if it was just a dream.

 

Hera didn’t have adequate words for a response, but she knew that words weren’t what Kanan needed or wanted to hear right now. Instead, she gently wiped Kanan’s tears away. He closed his eyes at her action, while taking a few deep breaths to steady himself.

 

Then he opened his eyes and said, “Stay with me tonight. I want—I  _need_ —to fall asleep with you in my arms.”

 

Hera nodded and offered him a gentle smile. “Of course, Kanan.”

 

They laid down together in Kanan’s bed, and Kanan wrapped his arms around Hera and pulled her against him with her back to his stomach. Hera placed her own arms on top of Kanan’s.

 

“Thank you, Hera,” he whispered in her earcone.

 

She wanted to respond with a promise that he’d never lose her or that he’d have her forever, but, of course, she couldn’t make promises like that, not when they were in the middle of a emerging rebellion. Though they never talked about it, they both knew the reality was that one of them could die fighting this war.

 

This was the reason Hera was always so reluctant to discuss the future with Kanan. In her perfect world, of course she’d want to marry him, travel the galaxy _without_ the fear of impending death, and then settle down somewhere to have a few kids. But she refused to discuss any of this with him because she didn’t want to grow attached to the idea. There was too much uncertainty.

 

For tonight though, Hera could be there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Kanan having some nightmare that is also a warped premonition of when Hera is taken by Rukh.
> 
> Also, if anyone read my most recent Han/Leia piece, you know I like the nightmare trope. (Is it even a trope? I'm going to say yes)
> 
> I will likely continue to update every other week because I'm still trying to feverishly write my new idea. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading this. I've kind of been in a funk regarding this story lately, but I'm trying to push through, and I really appreciate the support, particularly from PilotInTheStars and rebelsfromstars. You guys really lift me up :)


	26. Chapter 26

_About three years and eleven months after A New Dawn..._

 

Their informant Fulcrum had given them a mission that only required two people, so Kanan and Hera seized the opportunity to take it on alone.

 

Fulcrum knew of a disloyal Imperial who was willing to divulge Imperial secrets for credits. He was a scummy character, Fulcrum warned, but his information was always reliable.

 

Hera was meeting with him now in the corner of a sketchy cantina. Kanan sat in a booth not too far away, keeping an eye on the situation. He had wanted to be the one to meet with the Imperial, but Hera, always the trailblazer, had insisted on doing it.

 

Hera and the Imperial had been talking for a while now, and it was beginning to make Kanan nervous. He and Hera had long ago established a signal in case things went awry, and she hadn’t given him that signal…but still…how long did it take to exchange credits for a data cube?

 

As he took a sip from his non-alcoholic drink, a female human around his age approached him. She slid into the booth beside him and tapped Kanan on the shoulder.

 

“Here by yourself?” she asked. Her voice was seductively low.

 

“Yes,” Kanan lied, turning back to look at Hera and the man.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?” she said. She hadn’t removed her hand from his shoulder, and now she was tapping her fingers on it.

 

“No thanks. I’m not interested,” Kanan said, barely turning back to the woman to acknowledge.

 

The woman huffed and got up from her seat, much to Kanan’s relief.

 

He then turned his full attention back to Hera, who was now giggling at something the man said. _Was she flirting with this sleemo?_

Kanan knew and trusted Hera, so he knew she must have a reason for doing this, but it still made him uncomfortable.

 

Suddenly, the man put one of his hands on Hera’s hip. Kanan saw Hera’s lekku stiffen at the contact, but she still hadn’t given him the signal. Instead, to Kanan’s disgust, she leaned in a little and caressed the man's cheek.

 

The Imperial was clearly pleased by Hera’s touch and then pulled something out of his pocket. _It was the data cube, thank the Force._

He handed it to Hera, who then gave him the credits she carried in her pocket.

 

The exchange was over, and now Hera could away from this guy. But instead of walking away, the Imperial leaned in and whispered something in Hera’s ear. Hera giggled again and playfully swatted his chest. She then whispered in his ear something in response. And then finally, _finally_ , she walked away.

 

Hera walked right past Kanan’s booth, per the plan, and Kanan waited about twenty seconds before getting up and following her out of the cantina.

 

They met in the darkened alley on the side of the cantina.

 

“What the hell was that all about?” Kanan asked. He wasn’t at all mad at Hera, but he was definitely perturbed that he had to be a witness to that.

 

Hera rolled her eyes in disgust. “The sleemo upped his asking price for information. I didn’t have the amount of credits he asked for, so I had to sweet talk him into giving me the data cube.”

 

Kanan grunted in revulsion.

 

“I’m sorry you had to watch that.”

 

“It’s okay,” he replied. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

 

“Yeah, well, it’s the last time I’m doing it. I’ll let Fulcrum find someone else to deal with that guy because I get the feeling that next time, things won’t end so cordially.”

 

Kanan shook his head before wrapping his arms around Hera and embracing her. They held each other for a long time, and then Hera broke the hug, groaning.

 

“This was supposed to be a chance for the two of us to spend some time alone together. Instead, I had to pretend to be into that nasty Imp.”

 

Kanan glanced at the alley entrance. No one had walked by since they’d been there, and it was dark enough that no one was likely to see them. He turned back to Hera with a devilish look.

 

“What are you thinking?” Hera asked.

 

            Kanan responded by pulling Hera into him once more and kissing her deeply. He pulled apart after a moment and gave her a look that said, _You want to?_

Hera laughed in response and pulled him to the wall of the alley, where she allowed herself to lean.

 

Kanan began kissing his way up her jawline, thinking of how they hadn’t a chance to do _this_ in quite some time. When he returned his lips to hers, Hera began undoing the buttons of her flightsuit—personally, he missed her old suit, which simply had a zipper, but if she was going to make things a little easier for him by doing it herself, he wasn’t going to complain.

 

When her flightsuit was sufficiently unbuttoned, Hera turned her attention to Kanan’s belt. As she fiddled with it, Kanan continued to kiss Hera passionately, his tongue dancing with hers, while his hands explored all over her soft but strong body.

 

Finally, when Hera had adequately taken care of his belt, Kanan was able to lift her up by her waist and properly pin her against the alley wall, while she wrapped her legs around his body.

 

Kanan broke their now frantic kisses for a moment, so that he could look into Hera’s eyes.

 

“I love you, Hera.”

 

Hera smiled demurely and breathlessly responded, “I know you do.”

 

She then closed the space between them once more…but then both their comlinks went off.

 

“You guys all done?” Sabine asked. “We haven’t gotten an update and we’re getting nervous.”

 

“ _Kriff_ ,” Kanan swore, his voice gruff.

 

Hera leaned her forehead against Kanan’s and sighed. “We should let them know the mission was successful.”

 

“Yeah,” Kanan said, as Hera unwrapped her legs from around him and removed herself from his embrace.

 

He let Hera respond to Sabine, while he worked on refastening his belt.

 

It had been a nice moment, while it lasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this, it didn't cross my mind that Chopper and Zeb had already ruined romantic moments between them in this fic--I just like it as a trope--but when it did occur to me, I still wanted to include it because it only makes sense that their newest child interrupt Mom and Dad. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, you guys! Still working through my writing funk, but at least I'm writing...slowly but surely.


	27. Chapter 27

_About four years after A New Dawn..._

 

Honestly, getting Zeb and Sabine off the ship for the night had been incredibly easy. Kanan had snuck them both credits, enough for them to treat themselves to dinner and double-feature holo-drama, which would ensure that he and Hera had the ship to themselves for the majority of the night. Taking care of Chopper, however, had _not_ been incredibly easy. The droid was tricky and tough, and it seemed to sense when someone was trying to switch it off. Kanan practically had to wrestle with the astromech before he was able to turn of the droid and stick him in a corner. Kanan knew he’d be in for it when Hera turned him back on, but he’d worry about that when the time came.

 

After getting Zeb and Sabine off the ship and turning off Chopper, Kanan had set about making a special meal for Hera and him. Hera had been busy all day doing maintenance repairs on the _Phantom,_ and he knew he had at least an hour more until she was done and ready for dinner.

 

The idea had come to Kanan a few months ago. Early on in their relationship, Hera had valiantly tried and spectacularly failed at making them dinner one night. Now, Kanan decided that for their three year anniversary, he’d make them that same dinner, but he’d make it edible.

 

Kanan and Hera had long ago stopped celebrating anniversaries, mostly due to the fact that they travelled so often and were in so many systems that it was hard to keep track of the date, but also because they were usually so busy that they would simply _forget._ Many times, they’d missed the date by a few days before realizing that it had passed.

 

But recently, Kanan found himself curious as to how long exactly it had been since he and Hera had gotten together, so he went back and did the math and was pleased to discover that they were just a few months short of their third anniversary as a couple.

 

So here he was now, making Hera what would hopefully be delicious spiceloaf and ginger noodles. He found the meal pretty easy to make and had to laugh a little as he wondered how Hera could mess up such a simple dish.

 

When the food was close to done, he stepped out of the galley and went to where Hera was working on the _Phantom._

“Hey,” he said, leaning against the threshold of the door.

 

Hera, who was sweaty and covered with grease, popped up from the ship’s underbelly. “Hey. What’s up?”

 

“Dinner will be ready soon. How much longer do you think you’ll be?”

 

“I’m just about done,” she replied, sliding the rest of the way out from under the ship and standing.

 

“Great. Go shower and then meet me in the galley.”

 

Hera smiled suspiciously. “Okay…”

 

Kanan just winked at her in response and left her to finish up.

 

About twenty minutes later, Kanan had set out a nice display in the galley, not dissimilar to the one Hera had set out for him all those years back, and then waited outside of the galley for Hera.

 

As she approached him, she still wore that suspicious smile on her face. “What’s going on, Kanan?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

“I’ve noticed it’s eerily quiet around here. Where are Zeb and Sabine?”

 

She had now reached the doorway, which Kanan was doing his best to block. He took her hand and, ignoring her question said, “Close your eyes.”

 

Hera’s smile grew and she did what he requested.

 

Her hand in his, Kanan led Hera into the galley and then instructed her to open her eyes.

 

He watched Hera’s expression as her jaw dropped open in surprise. She turned to him, her eyes sparkling with excitement, and said, “This looks familiar.”

 

“It does, doesn’t it?” he said, grinning. “I thought I’d try to recreate that night.”

 

“You just wanted to prove that you could cook the food that I couldn’t,” she said, chuckling.

 

 He shrugged. “That was only a tiny part of it.”

 

She looked at him with a conspiratorial smirk and said, “Sure, it is.”

 

“Hera,” he said, squeezing her hand. “It’s our three year anniversary. I wanted to do something special.”

 

“Three years?” she breathed in disbelief.

 

“Yeah, can you believe it?”

 

She shook her head. “No, I can’t.”

 

Kanan pointed to one of the seats at the table. “Well, sit down. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

 

Hera looked around the galley. “Where are the others?”

 

“I bribed them to get off the ship for the night. They won’t be back for _hours_.”

 

“Well, then let’s get eating then.”

 

Kanan laughed and then escorted Hera to her chair. He then went to the fridge and pulled out the last surprise, a bottle of wine from a vineyard on Ryloth. He didn’t say anything, instead choosing to place the bottle in front of her and wait for her reaction.

 

“Kanan,” she gasped. “Where did you find this?”

 

“For months, I’ve been asking every bartender in every bar if they had a bottle of wine made on Ryloth. Want me to pour you a glass?”

 

“Yes, please,” she replied.

 

After pouring each of them a glass, Kanan and Hera tucked into their meals, both quickly agreeing that Kanan’s version of the meal was much better than Hera’s.

 

When they were almost done, Hera had brought up a topic that thoroughly surprised Kanan.

 

“I’d like you to be our leader on the ground.”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, it’s not just us anymore, you know? We’ve got Zeb and Sabine now, and I was thinking it’d be easier for them to actually go on the missions with you, while I stay on the ship, ready to pick you up in case you need to make a quick escape.”

 

“That would be more convenient than having Chopper in control. That’s always made a little nervous.”

 

Hera laughed. “Speaking of Chopper. Did you bribe him too?”

 

“I turned him off,” Kanan said, fighting the smile that was tugging at his lips.

 

“Oh, you’re going to regret that,” Hera said.

 

“It’ll be worth it though.”

 

“Will it?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I hope so,” he replied, taking her hand from across the table.

 

It had been almost eight months since Kanan and Hera had made love. Events and operations had just become so hectic and exhausting and with two additional people on the ship, they just never felt like they had the energy, time, or privacy for much more than some quick making out. But Kanan was determined that this night would be different.

 

When they finished their dinner, Hera went to bring the dishes to the sink, but Kanan quickly stepped in front of her and removed the plates from her hands.

 

“C’mon, Kanan,” she said. “You made an amazing meal. Let me do the dishes.”

 

“If you really want to do the dishes, you can do them tomorrow morning,” he told her, as he placed the dishes on the counter.

 

Hera’s cheeks darkened, and Kanan could _sense_ her excitement in a way he hadn’t in a very long time.

 

“Okay,” she whispered.

 

With her now free hands, she reached up and cupped his face. Kanan took a step closer to her and placed his hands gently on her hips. They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, just drinking in one another in a way they hadn’t been able to do in so long, and then Hera closed the distance between them.

 

It started off slow and tender, as they savored the taste of each other. Kanan could taste the wine on Hera’s lips. He was mostly sober, but the thought of having pleased her with wine from her home planet and then tasting it on her lips was intoxicating in its own way.

 

When Hera began to deepen the kiss, she backed Kanan up so that his back was pressed against the counter. He moved his hands from her hips and began sliding them up and down her sides, relishing her body’s shivers when his fingertips brushed the sides of her breasts.

 

It went on like that, just the two of them kissing in the galley, for a long time, before Kanan eventually pulled away.

 

“Do you really want to do this here?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

 

Hera looked up at him through her lashes. “No, I don’t. My bunk or yours?”

 

“Yours. It’s bigger,” he responded.

 

She nodded, took his hand, and led him back to her bunk.

 

***

 

Some time later, when they had finally worn themselves out and were both thoroughly satisfied, Hera cuddled up to Kanan’s side and he put his arm around her shoulder.

           

Hera let out a satisfied sigh and began tracing shapes on Kanan’s bare chest with her fingers. He watched her fingers on his chest for a few moments, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. Eventually, his eyes travelled away from the shapes she was drawing and to Hera herself. She was still flushed and her lekku were curled in a way Kanan knew meant she was tired yet satisfied. There was a soft smile playing at her lips.

 

The whole image of her like this was almost too much, and Kanan found himself wishing he had enough stamina to go again. He knew he couldn’t though, and neither, he suspected, could Hera; by now, they were both utterly worn out. Not to mention, Sabine and Zeb would likely be back soon. Still, Kanan adored looking at Hera like this, especially knowing that it was his doing. A contented happiness washed over him, and he realized that this was the happiest he had been in a long time.

 

He told her as much.

 

Hera stopped drawing on his chest and adjusted herself, moving her forearms onto his chest and resting her head on top of them.

 

“This is the happiest I’ve been in a long while too,” she said. “I’m sorry it can’t always be like this.”

 

“It’s okay,” he said, reaching out to stroke her face. “Because when it _does_ get to be like this, it makes it a million times better.”

 

Hera smiled and leaned down to kiss him. She pulled away prematurely, however, when she heard a loud beep, alerting them that the ship’s ramp had gone down and that Zeb and Sabine were now back.

 

“They’re home,” she whispered.

 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Do you want me to leave?”

 

Hera shook her head, surprising him. “No. Stay. We don’t have to keep up appearances. I’m sure they know what went on tonight anyway.”

 

“Okay,” Kanan said, happy to spend a few more hours with Hera in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter, and I hope you do too :)


	28. Chapter 28

_About four years and three months after A New Dawn..._

 

Fulcrum had asked them to go on a special mission to Naboo. They were supposed to smuggle some items out of the royal palace and deliver them to a small planet elsewhere in the mid-rim. Immediately, Hera knew Kanan wasn’t going to be thrilled about this. Not only were they going to a mid-rim planet, they were going to the mid-rim planet that was the Emperor’s _home_ planet. But he had been a good sport and hadn’t complained at all.

 

The mission itself had been successful, but when Kanan had discovered what the smuggled items were, he had blown up.

 

“We risked our asses for _clothes and jewelry and books_?” he had exclaimed.

 

He had the decency to approach Hera about this privately in her quarters, but he was shouting loud enough that Zeb and Sabine likely heard him.

 

“Fulcrum said this was a special mission and that we shouldn’t anticipate any more like this one,” Hera had replied, trying to appease him.

 

Kanan groaned and ran a hand through his loosely tied hair. “You know I don’t like going to these planets. We’ve been over this time and again. But I do it for the sake of our missions and, more importantly, _for you._ But to go to these planets to smuggle a couple boxes of gowns out of the palace? I draw the line there, Hera. I draw the kriffing line there.”

 

He was angry in a way Hera rarely saw him, and she knew that deep down he had a right to be. She had known from the beginning that the items Fulcrum had asked them to smuggle out of the palace were not weapons or healthcare supplies but instead were gowns, jewels, and old books, and she had kept that information from Kanan. She assumed it would be one of their easier missions because the Naboo royal household were actually the ones handing over the items.

 

But a week after the mission, Kanan was still aggravated. And his foul mood had rubbed off on Hera, who was already moody. Other than their mission on Naboo, their last few operations had been less than successful. Truthfully, the team’s rut was taking its toll on all the _Ghost’s_ members, but Hera and Kanan seemed the most affected by it.

 

During one recent mission, Hera had almost been caught by stormtroopers. Her saving grace had been Sabine, who swooped down, grabbed Hera under her arms, and then activated her jetpack, allowing them to escape. But it had been close and it hadn’t been the first time Hera had almost been captured. (Despite her saying that she was going to try and stay with the ship more often, she only actually did half the time.) In fact, it had happened enough at this point that Hera felt like she and Kanan needed to sit down and set some ground rules for what to do if a situation like that occurred.

 

 So, despite both their bad moods, Hera went to Kanan’s cabin to have a much needed talk with him.

 

He was cordial in greeting her and allowed her into his room. Instead of sitting on the bed with him, she sat on the small chair placed in the corner of his room. This didn’t movement didn’t go unnoticed by Kanan. She saw him raise his eyebrows and quickly roll his eyes, but thankfully he said nothing.

 

“What’s up?” he asked, sitting up against the back of his bunk.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

His eyes widened. “That doesn’t sound good.”

 

Hera shook her head. “It’s not like that. It’s just…I think we need to establish some new rules for our crew, and since you’re our leader on the ground, I wanted to run them by you before I tell the others.”

 

Kanan eyed her skeptically but nodded nonetheless. “Okay.”

 

“We’ve had our run-ins with almost being captured before and that last one was just… _so close._ ” She paused for a moment, looking down at her lap and shaking away the memory. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kanan tense, and she knew the moment had scared him as much as it had scared her. Taking a deep breath, she continued on. “I think we need to talk about what needs to happen if one of us is taken.”

 

“And what do you propose?” he asked, the muscles in his jaw tight.

 

“If one of us is taken in the middle of a mission, the others have to promise not to mount some rescue operation until the mission we’re currently conducting is successfully completed. And even then, the crew needs to weigh the pros and cons of a rescue op. What are the chances it will be successful? What are the chances that more crew will wind up detained…or worse? These things need to be carefully considered before any attempt at a rescue is made.”

 

“If you get captured, I’m coming after you,” Kanan said plainly and with no hesitation.

 

“You need to complete the mission first. And then you need to figure out if a rescue mission will actually be practical,” Hera countered, trying to be patient.

 

“I heard you, Hera. But I’m telling you, if you—or any of the others—get captured, I’m coming to get you. Your lives are more important than a damn mission.”

 

The tension in the room was palpable now, as Hera wracked her brain for a way to keep this conversation civil.

 

Using a gentle tone, she said, “Kanan, I’m afraid this isn’t up for discussion. It’s—“

 

“Then why even mention it to me first?” Kanan asked, rising from the bed. “Why not just tell me when you told the others?”

 

Hera rose from the chair as well. “Because I wanted to give you the courtesy of letting you know beforehand.

 

“Well, I completely disagree with you.”

 

Hera took a step toward him, still trying to use a soft voice. “I know you do. But it’s what needs to be done to ensure the rebellion continues on and is successful. If everyone thought the way you did…well, then I’m not sure if the rebellion would ever get off the ground.”

 

Kanan scoffed. “I don’t care how everyone else thinks, Hera. I care about _you._ And about _them_ ,” he said, motioning to his door.

 

She went to take his hand, but he pulled it out of her reach.

 

“Kanan!” she exclaimed, shocked and hurt by his reaction.

 

“You’re saying that you wouldn’t come after me? Or Zeb? Or Sabine—who’s practically still a child?” he asked, taking a step back, now further out of her reach.

 

“I’m _saying_ I’d complete the mission first and then determine the best course of action,” she said. She was beginning to feel like a broken holo-record

 

Kanan simply shook his head. “Unbelievable.”

 

“I’ve always said the rebellion comes first.”

 

Kanan looked deeply into Hera’s eye in a way that she found quite unnerving. “Hera, I don’t love the rebellion, _I love you_.”

 

Her eyes welled with tears. “I know you do, Kanan, it’s just—“

 

Kanan’s brow furrowed in disbelief and he threw up a hand to silence her. “Wait.”

“What?” Hera asked, alarmed.

 

“You didn’t say it back just now.”

 

The first few tears fell from her eyes as she took in the look on Kanan’s face. He wasn’t angry anymore. He was hurt—hurt by what she had said, or rather, what she had _not_ said.

           

“Oh, Kanan, I’m so sorry,” she said, wiping the tears from her face. “Of course, I—“

 

“It’s fine,” Kanan said, his voice hollow as he turned away from her. “If that’s how you want to do things, then that’s how they’ll be done. You can tell the others. I don’t need to be there when you do.”

 

She started to say his name again but then stopped herself. It was clear that he didn’t want to talk anymore. Hera reached out to him, put a hand on his shoulder, and squeezed it. When he didn’t turn around, Hera removed her hand and exited his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon here is that Bail and Ahsoka wanted to get some of Padme's stuff out of the palace and in a place for safe-keeping so that Leia could have access to it when she got older.
> 
> I feel like this chapter might be one of the few chapters with proper angst. Fluff is so much easier to write, so hopefully I didn't botch the angst here too badly. I really didn't want Hera to come across as cold because I don't think she is cold...even in her decision to not go after her crewmembers if they get captured. That's just who she is as a person, and unfortunately, it clashes with who Kanan is as a person.


	29. Chapter 29

_About four years and five months after A New Dawn..._

 

Two months after their fight and things were still icy between Kanan and Hera.

 

When they were around the rest of their crew, they kept it civil, but when, in some way or another, they found themselves alone, they pointedly ignored the other. Most of the time they couldn’t even look each other in the eye.

 

Kanan wasn’t sure when things were going to be resolved with Hera. Neither had yet attempted to apologize, and both could be incredibly stubborn when they wanted to be. But for Kanan, it wasn’t as much about stubbornness or even anger. It was about hurt feelings. A piece of Kanan’s heart had been broken during that fight because, in a way, it felt as if he had been betrayed. What was almost worse was after that, every time he looked at Hera, his heart broke all over again. There seemed to be this almost constant dull pain in his chest. It made Kanan miserable, but he couldn’t bring himself to initiate a talk; he was too hurt and he feared being hurt further.

 

Despite his pain, Kanan thought that he and Hera were behaving in a professional enough manner that Zeb and Sabine hadn’t noticed the difference in their behavior, but when Zeb pulled him aside one day while they were docked on Lothal and asked Kanan to take a walk with him, Kanan suspected the Lasat knew more than he had initially thought.

 

“What the hell is going on, mate?” Zeb asked, as they walked through the rural grasslands.

 

“With what?” Kanan replied, trying to hide the edge in his voice. He had just spent a particularly long, particular icy flight in the cockpit with Hera, and the last thing he wanted to do was talk about her with Zeb.

 

“We’re not stupid, Kanan. Something’s up between you and Hera.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

Zeb gave Kanan a look that told him to cut the crap. “We have eyes and ears. Sabine and I see the way you guys look—or don’t look—at each other. You don’t sit close anymore. You don’t laugh when you’re together. And…you haven’t had any late night or early morning visits to each other’s rooms.”

           

Kanan stopped in his tracks and gave Zeb a sharp look. “You pay attention to that?”

 

Zeb shrugged. “It’s unavoidable sometimes, mate. It’s not a big ship.”

 

“Oh,” Kanan huffed, glancing back at the _Ghost_ , which was a few meters away. “Well, yeah, you’re right. Things between us haven’t been great lately.”

 

“I don’t need to know details. I’m not sure I even _want_ to know details. But, have either of you tried talking about whatever is wrong?”

 

“No,” Kanan groaned, his shoulder slumping.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because we’re just going to get in another fight.”

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

“No, I don’t _know_ that,” Kanan admitted.

 

“You don’t remember what I told you, do you?” Zeb asked.

 

“About what?”

 

Zeb put his big paw on Kanan’s shoulder. “It was a few years back. We were drinking, and I told you to hold onto Hera. What you have with her is special.”

           

Kanan didn’t reply. In fact, he could barely look at Zeb.

 

“We’re in the middle of a war. You don’t want to keep things the way they are, only for something awful to happen to one of you.”

 

Zeb’s word were dark and sobering but true. Kanan nodded.

 

“Try and talk to her. You guys aren’t yourselves when you’re not all lovey-dovey.”

 

He said the _lovey-dovey_ in such a sickly-sweet voice that Kanan couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“We’ve never been like that,” Kanan said.

 

Zeb shrugged. “Yeah, you have. You two only _think_ you’re being discreet.”

 

Kanan chuckled again. “Okay, fine. I’ll see about talking with her.”


	30. Chapter 30

****_About four years and five months after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera paced back and forth in her room, trying to work up the courage to approach Kanan.

 

Yesterday, right after they had landed on Lothal, Kanan and Zeb had left the ship to check out the area. While they were gone, Sabine had cornered Hera in the cockpit and had a talk with her.

 

For a teenager, Sabine was apparently very perceptive. Hera had thought that she and Kanan had done an excellent job of keeping their issues to themselves, but apparently Sabine—and according to Sabine, Zeb too—had noticed.

 

Using her own experience with her family, Sabine encouraged Hera to talk to Kanan about whatever was going on between them. She told Hera that she still loved her parents and her brother, despite their betrayal, and that she wished she would have tried harder to fight for her family.

 

“You fight for the ones you love,” Sabine had said.

 

By the end of the conversation, Hera had been in tears. She resolved to talk to Kanan that night, but then they had a hyperdrive malfunction that needed immediate tending to and by the time they had finished, Hera had been too exhausted to do anything.

 

But now a day later, Hera was ready—or as ready as she’d ever be. It had been two months of practically nothing but silence between the two of them. Hera knew Kanan was hurt, but she also knew she stood by her words.

 

Taking a deep breath, Hera opened the door to her room. As she did, she saw that Kanan had just stepped out of his room, as well. Their eyes met, and Hera offered him a small, conciliatory smile. Kanan returned her small smile with one of his own. It was the first time she’d seen him smile in two months.

 

“I was actually just coming to see you,” she said softly, uncertainty dripping from her voice.

 

Kanan’s smile grew ever-so-slightly. “That’s funny because I was coming to see to you.”

 

“Zeb?” she asked.

 

“Yeah,” Kanan chuckled. “Sabine?”

 

She nodded. “I guess we’re not as sly as we thought we were.”

 

“No, I guess not,” Kanan replied. “Did you, uh, want to come in?”

 

“Yeah,” Hera said, making her way to Kanan’s room. He held the door open for her, allowed her to walk in the room first, and then followed behind him.

 

It felt strange being in Kanan’s room again. The last time she’d been there had been when they had fought. Everything looked the same and was in the same place, and yet things felt…foreign.

 

She stood in his room awkwardly, before Kanan, who sat down on the small chair in the corner of his room, gestured to his bed. Hera sat on the edge of the bed, turned her body to face Kanan, and sighed.

 

“I don’t like us like this,” she said, her voice quiet, tentative. She was looking Kanan directly in the eye when she said the words, and she could see the pain swirling in his eyes.

 

“Me neither,” he responded.

 

“I want things to be back to the way they were before. I just don’t know how to do that when we’ve reached such an impasse.”

 

“One of the things I love about you is your commitment to this cause,” Kanan said, now breaking eye contact and looking down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. “I’ve always understood that, for you, the rebellion comes before everything—even our relationship. It’s a sacrifice I make for being in love with you. But, when I hear you say that I can’t come after you if you get captured or that you might not come after me if I get captured…”

 

His voice broke and he cleared his throat. He looked back up at Hera once more, and she saw the pain in his eyes had materialized into tears.

 

“When I hear that,” Kanan continued on, “It feels like a betrayal.”

 

She watched as he wiped away a few tears, feeling her own eyes begin to water.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, Kanan,” she told him, working hard to keep her voice steady.

 

“I know you didn’t mean to, but you did.”

 

“I know.”

 

They sat in what Hera deemed an almost oppressive silence for what felt like a very long time but was probably only two minutes or so. Hera wracked her brain, trying to find something to say that would make things better between them. She was determined to fight for this—for them—but she didn’t know how to begin.

 

“Hera.”

 

Hera looked up from her lap.

 

“Do you still love me?”

 

Her heart broke. “Of course, Kanan. Of course, I do.”

 

“But you love the rebellion more.”

 

She shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I fight as hard as I do for the rebellion because I want every person in the galaxy to have the future they want to have. And I want _my_ future to be with _you._ I don’t allow myself to think about the details, you know that."  She paused for a moment, giving him a meaningful look. Kanan’s face was unreadable. Hera sighed and continued.  “But I do know I want you there. I’ve _dreamt_ of you being there in my future, Kanan. I’m just one person though. I want every being in the galaxy to have the life of their dreams.”

 

Hera watched Kanan carefully. His eyes had returned to his lap, and Hera thought he was lost in thought. She waited patiently for him to speak.

 

“I wish you didn’t feel like you had to sacrifice so much for this rebellion.” His voice was soft, just short of a whisper. He was still looking down at his hands clasped tightly in his lap.

 

“I know you do,” she replied, her voice equally as soft.

 

“I’ve given everything to you, to this rebellion,” he continued, his voice growing slightly in volume but still incredibly gentle. “I’ve given everything, and I’m happy to do it because I love you. I just wish this was the one thing you could give me. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t go after you if you had been captured.”

 

He was holding her gaze now, and Hera saw the tears in his eyes had been replaced with fire. He wasn’t angry, she could tell, but instead filled with feelings of passion. She longed to reach out to him, to feel the warmth of his hand in hers, but last time she had attempted to touch him, he had pushed her way.

 

“And Sabine and Zeb?” Hera asked.

 

“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t go after them either. I’d go after them on my own, if you wanted to continue the mission. But they’re our family now, and I can’t calculate the success of a rescue or just wait to finish a mission. I feel like I _have to_ go save them.”

 

Hera nodded and thought for a moment before speaking. “I can give you that.”

 

“Give me what?” he asked, looking at her uncertainly.

 

“If you want to go after them on your own, you can do that. I can’t stop you.”

 

And deep, deep down, Hera did not think she wanted to stop Kanan.

 

“And you? If you get taken?”

 

Hera sighed. “You know how I feel. My wish is that you complete the mission first before you make any attempt to rescue me. But, I guess, ultimately…that’s between you, Zeb, and Sabine.”

 

Kanan nodded, taking that in.

           

It was all that Hera could give him, and she hoped it could be enough. If he wanted to break off on his own to go after Sabine, Zeb, or even her, she couldn’t stop him and she wouldn’t. But Hera wouldn’t budge on her stance on rescuing Kanan. Her views on that remained the same: mission first, then evaluate the possible success of a rescue operation, even if it killed her to do so.

 

She could practically see the same thought—the thought that she wouldn’t automatically rush to save him—go through Kanan’s head. Pain was back in his eyes.

 

“I’ve missed you _so much_ , Kanan,” she said, trying to take him out of his head. “Can we please just forgive each other and forget this ever happened?”

 

“I want to,” Kanan replied quietly.

 

Hera breathed a sigh of relief and rose from the bed. She knelt down beside Kanan, took his hand, and pressed it to her heart. “I don’t ever want to go this long without you again.”

 

“Me neither,” Kanan murmured. “But I need you to be patient with me, okay?”

 

“Patient?”

 

“Hera, I want nothing more than to completely forget about the past two months. But I can’t. These past two months have been a... _hell_ , and I just need your patience.”

 

“Okay,” she replied, lifting his hand from her chest to kiss it.

 

They sat in a far more companionable silence for a few moments. Hera’s eyes focused on Kanan’s hand, which she stroked the top of with her thumb. Kanan remained in the chair he had initially sat down in and watched her.

 

“I’ve missed this,” he said after a little while, lifting their still clasped hands.

 

“Me too.”

 

“You know, when Zeb was talking to me, he told me to hold on to you. Actually, he told me a long time ago too. He said that what we have is special.”

 

“I know. I heard him.”

 

“What?”

 

Hera stood from her kneeling position and hesitantly moved to sit on Kanan’s lap. She gave him a questioning look, as if to ask if it was okay. Kanan, understanding her expression, opened his arms and pulled her into him as she sat on his lap.

           

“It was after one the missions a few years ago,” she said, stroking Kanan’s cheek and enjoying the feeling of his stubble under her thumb. “You and Zeb were talking and drinking while I was in the ‘fresher. I overheard a lot of what was said. Including that.”

 

“Well, he said it again yesterday. And he’s right. What we have is special, and we need to hold on to it—and each other.”

 

“I agree,” Hera said, kissing his brow.

 

Kanan then took Hera’s face in his hands and gave her a chaste kiss. Hera nudged his lips open with her own, trying to deepen the kiss, but when she did, Kanan pulled away.

 

“Patience, remember? I need your patience, Hera.”

 

Hera deflated a little but nodded. “Patience.”

 

She climbed off his lap and Kanan rose from his chair as well. When they were both standing, he pulled her into a hug and held her for a long time. They broke apart and then Hera bid Kanan a good night.

 


	31. Chapter 31

_About four years and six months after A New Dawn..._

 

Kanan and Hera trudged through the jungle planet of Scarif after an only semi-successful mission. Fulcrum had sent them to the small, secretive planet because it was believed that the Empire had a particularly important base located on one of its beaches.

 

With the _Ghost_ being the excellent ship it was, Hera had managed to fly past the Imperial blockade and land them a safe enough distance away. Hera and Kanan then stealthily trudged through the jungle thirty or so miles to the beach, where they discovered that the Imperials had quite the operation going on. Unfortunately, they were not able to get much information about what was going on at the facility; they could only tell that it was very important because they couldn't get close enough to even get an inkling of what the facility's purpose was.

 

Originally, Kanan and Zeb were supposed to be conducting the mission, but Zeb was recovering from terrible food poisoning that he got while they were on Akiva. They talked about Sabine going on the mission, but she was in the middle of building bombs for the next mission; thus, it wound up being Kanan and Hera, just like the old days.

 

It was getting dark by the time they began making their way back to the _Ghost,_ and eventually they decided to stop for the night. Hera had packed two sleeping bags and a collapsible bug net, and the two set up camp for the night under the stars.

 

“I think we should split the watch. How do you feel about three hours on, three hours off?” Hera asked.

 

“That’s fine,” Kanan said, setting up the large bug net around their two sleeping bags. Jungles were a breeding ground for exotic bugs with exotic diseases. The last thing they needed was to get stung or bitten by one.

 

“I’ll take the first watch,” Hera offered. She was digging through her backpack, pulling out a few ration bars for them.

 

“Okay. I’m not tired yet, though, so I might just stay up with you.”

 

Hera handed him a ration bar and smiled. “I’d like that. It’d give us a chance to hang out.”

 

Kanan, who had now settled inside the net’s protective dome along with Hera, gave her a sideways glance. “We’ve hung out all day.”

 

“No,” Hera said, touching Kanan lightly on the shoulder. “We’ve been working all day. _This_ is just hanging out.”

 

Hera’s affectionate touch was nice, but Kanan didn’t reciprocate it.

 

Things between them had been better since they had had their talk one month earlier, but they were still easing back into the way things has been before. More accurately, Kanan was still easing his way back into things. Hera, he could tell, was ready to resume their way of life, but Kanan was still working through the hurt. He forgave her, of course, but it was difficult coming to terms with the fact that the love of his life would always choose the rebellion over him. He’d always known it, but their recent fight had put it right in his face.

 

When he didn’t return her affection, Hera squeezed his shoulder. “You okay, love?”

 

“Everything’s fine,” he said. Kanan had quickly accepted that discussing this issue more with her wasn’t going to do any good, so sometimes he felt like he needed to lie.

 

“Okay,” she said, smiling warmly.

 

They ate their ration bars in relative silence, and when they were done eating, Hera lit up her glowrod and placed it vertically so that the light was shining up into the sky. Both sat up, using their sleeping bags as blankets. They were not, however, sitting particularly close, which was Kanan’s doing.

 

He could sense that their distance, though minimal, bothered Hera, and his heart softened a little. She really was trying, he knew. She really wanted them to be okay. It was Kanan that was holding them back.

 

Taking a deep breath, he moved from his spot and scooted closer to Hera. Now shoulder-to-shoulder, he immediately felt Hera’s aura change, and a small, satisfied smile crept onto Kanan’s face. He put his arm around her, and she leaned into him. Kanan instantaneously remembered how nice it felt to hold Hera, and he felt some of his pain and lingering resentment dissipating.

 

“This is nice, Kanan,” she said. The timbre of her voice was low, the way Kanan best loved her voice. It wasn’t quite sexual, but there was an undeniable sensuality to it.

 

“It is nice. It’s a beautiful night.”

 

"It is. You know, I was eleven years old before my dad let me go up into the sky with him. Before that, I used to look up at the sky and the stars and dream of getting up there one day. Back then, the stars seemed like the most magical things in the galaxy. Then my dad took me into space and I learned how to fly, and I sort of forgot about the beauty of the stars. I’d grown used to them and they just sort of were…there.”

 

She paused for a moment, but Kanan knew she had more to stay. He listened to the chirps and tweets and howls of the fauna in the jungle, recalling nights from his own adolescence when he and Janus Kasmir would hide out in forests after completing a dangerous job. At first, he had been terrified of the sounds of the wildlife, but Kasmir had taught him that most living creatures only harmed you if they felt threatened. Sure, there was the occasional gutkurr or Krayt dragon, but of the billions of creatures that roamed forests throughout the galaxy, most were relatively harmless.

 

“But now,” Hera continued, taking Kanan out of his daydream, “Now, lying here, sharing this night with you, I’m beginning to see the magic of the stars again.”

 

Kanan pressed a soft, lingering kiss on the top of Hera’s bare, capless head between her lekku. She shivered at his touch. When he removed his lips from her scalp, Hera lifted her head to kiss him on his lips. When she pulled back from the kiss, she met Kanan’s eyes, and Kanan read the question in them clearly: _Is this okay?_

 

He had told her to be patient with him, and she had been. He had been holding back on affection, and she hadn’t gotten upset with him—at least not outwardly. Now, she was looking up at him with her beautiful, green eyes, asking if it was okay to share an intimate moment with him.

 

His heart swelled with love for Hera, and he allowed himself to let go of the lingering pain. He bent his head down to answer her look with a passionate kiss, which seemed to surprise Hera at least a little bit because she let out a little squeak when his lips collided with hers. His arms, which were still around her, squeezed her tighter, as they deepened the kisses between them.

 

Kanan had missed this more than he had realized, and he could tell Hera felt the same way. Her kisses as well as her touches were hungry, almost frantic. After a moment, Kanan pulled back and took her hands in his.

 

“We’re never alone like this,” he told her, squeezing her hands. “Let’s enjoy it.”

 

She was breathless when she responded. “I’ve just missed this. I’ve missed this, missed _you_ so much.”

 

“I know,” he said, before dipping his head down to give her a quick peck on the lips. “I’ve missed this too, but let’s savor the moment. The Force only knows when we’ll get a chance like this again.”

 

“Okay,” Hera replied, taking her hand out of his grasp and stroking his cheek.

 

They moved slowly, enjoying every kiss and relishing every caress. It was darker than they were used to—almost pitch black—but Kanan and Hera were so accustomed to each other that making love, even by the light of one dim glowrod on the jungle floor within the parameters of a bug net, wasn’t as difficult as Kanan would have thought. 

 

When they finished, Hera had rested her head on Kanan’s chest, and he just listened as her breathing returned to normal. They had just made love for the first time in over six months, and it had been amazing, but something between them felt different.

 

Kanan could sense Hera’s feelings more acutely in these moments, and he knew Hera was happy, if not over the moon. She was relieved, taking this night as a sign that things had finally returned to normal between them. Kanan, however, knew this wasn’t the case. It wasn’t just because of their fight months ago; things had been changing for awhile. Kanan had felt a gradual shift throughout the years, as they continued to take on more crewmembers and more dangerous missions. They had less time to spend alone together, which meant they had less time to foster their relationship. Their fight had only been the siren that had openly announced that there was what Kanan considered to be an alarming change between them.

 

But what was worse was that Kanan’s intuition was telling him that there was no going back from this. At least not as long as their was a rebellion to fight for. If he loved Hera—and Force knew he did—he’d have to ride the waves of change, whatever they entailed. He could only hope that one day this Rebellion would end, the war would be won, and they’d still be around to cherish to fruits of their labor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original plan for this fic was to get Hera and Kanan to the Rebels timeline and then cover those four years in little missing moments; however, I'm starting to doubt if I can do that. I've written a handful of missing moments that fit in throughout the first season, but I don't think I have the time to re-watch all of Rebels so that I can find more moments for this fic. That being said, it's very likely this fic will end with the next chapter because I think it's a good stopping place. 
> 
> I absolutely haven't ruled out coming back to this fic though, or even starting a second anthology.
> 
> Lastly, I hope it's clear that Kanan was not withholding affection from Hera out of spite. He was hurt and needed time to heal.


	32. Chapter 32

_About five years after A New Dawn..._

 

Hera had just finished updating Fulcrum on the victory of their latest mission. It felt good to finally have successfully completed a job after a long drought of half-completed or utterly fruitless ones.  

 

Having been complimented at length by Fulcrum, she was buzzing with optimism and positive energy. It was late and everyone had already gone to their cabins for the night, but Hera thought there was a possibility that Kanan was still awake and might be up for a little celebrating.

 

After quickly changing into her nighttime thermals, Hera quietly made her way over to Kanan’s cabin. Though she knew his passcode, she still tapped on the door, not wanting to invade his privacy. When he didn’t answer, she knocked again a little louder. There was still no answer, which caused Hera’s heart the beat a little faster. He had seemed fine earlier, and Hera couldn’t think of any reason why he wasn’t answering.

 

Nervously and still with some reluctance, she typed in Kanan’s access code and the door opened.

 

She walked in and the image she saw in front of her didn’t upset her, rather it surprised her. Kanan was sitting cross-legged on his bed, with his eyes closed. His face was incredibly relaxed, and Hera could have sworn he was sleeping.

 

“Kanan?” she called quietly and with a little reluctance.

 

He exhaled deeply and opened his eyes and smiled. “Hey, Hera.”

 

“Are you okay?” she asked, worry seeping into her voice.

 

“Yes, of course. Is everything alright?”

 

“Yeah. I just came to see if you wanted to... _celebrate_.” She smiled wickedly when she said ‘celebrate’ and Kanan’s own smile grew.

 

“I’d like to, but meditating takes a lot out of me, so I’ll have to pass for the night.”

 

Hera’s eyes widened out the word ‘meditate.’ “That’s what you were doing? I didn’t think you did that?”

 

“I’ll do it occasionally,” he replied. “But I’ve been doing it a lot more recently.”

 

He motioned toward his bed, inviting her to sit next to him. Once she was seated, Kanan took her hand, gently stroking the top of it with his thumb.

 

“I’ve been feeling a… _pull_ lately. I think it’s the Force trying to tell me something.”

 

“Do you know what it could be?” Hera asked.

 

“I think something’s… _coming_.”

 

“Something’s coming?” she repeated. “Do you know what it is?”

 

“No. That’s why I’ve been meditating. I’ve been trying to reach out for something, but I can’t quite reach the answer.”

 

Hera nodded sympathetically. She didn’t— _couldn’t_ —understand what exactly Kanan was talking about, but she could see it was weighing on him.

 

“I lost my way for a long time, ignoring the Force. I just hope I can recognize what the Force is calling me to do when the time comes.”

 

“You will,” Hera told him. And she genuinely believed that. Kanan never gave himself enough credit.

 

Kanan sighed. “I hope so.”

 

Hera leaned on Kanan’s shoulder, and the two sat in silence on Kanan’s bed, both lost in their own thoughts of what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end...for now. 
> 
> I have more ideas of chapters to come and I even have some stuff written, but I don't have enough time to re-watch Rebels so that I can make sure everything fits into the timeline. 
> 
> I do hope that I can get back to this one day, though, because Hera and Kanan's relationship is beautiful and there is so much behind the scenes to explore.
> 
> But for now, thank you so much for reading :)


End file.
